Java java java....

I need a cup of coffee. lol... I have taken the midnight shift at the clinic for the second night in a row tonight, and I'm a little tired. Not always do I have to be there at midnight, but we amputated a leg on a cat on Wednesday and she needs painkillers and an antibiotic and I am the lucky canididate to give it to her, which means that I have to stay awake, not that I have a problem with that. I'm actually really excited about it because she is doing so well. Going from the point that we thought that we might lose her back to eating and drinking on her own and learning to walk on three legs quite quickly. I know you are probably going to think that this is stupid, but watching her inspires me. She is so quick to learn to fight and get back on her feet, why can't I be more like that? When I get knocked down I prefer to sit there and wallow in self pity...lol.... ok so I'm not that bad, but really how many times after a bad day, a broken heart, a disagreement, or really anything that didn't really go the way we wanted it to go do we sit around complaining about it instead of getting up, brushing the dirt off and getting back on the horse to try again. Why are we more content to sit back and hide in the shadows? Is it because we are afraid of getting hurt at a deeper level, or repeatedly at the same level? I know it sucks to get hurt, and I am just as guilty as the next person for sitting in the shadows and attempting to be invisiable, but I am slowly learning to be more like the cat. I want to be more like the cat. I want to be able to just brush it off and go instead of holding on to the past. You can't move forward if you are bound to the past..... any way.....thats my thought pattern for tonight..... i'm off to grab a tims, realax for a few, then head out to the clinic to look after le chat.... night all.... feel free to comment or ask questions...lol.... i'm so tired......