Ok, so I lied

I know I said that I would update a couple days ago, but once again time got away from me and I didn't get around to doing it. Terribly sorry to my faithful readers. I had a good Christmas. It felt good to be home, but now that all the busy parts are over, I'm ready to head back up to Vermilion. I want to get started back to school, and some sort of a rountine. I know it might sound insane, but I don't even want to wait until New Years is over, I just want to go now. lol. It would be nice to have a break though, but that doesn't even seem a possiblility around here. It seems every time I come home I leave more stressed than when I arrived, and coming off a week of exams thats very sad! Oh well, it should get better as time goes on, hopefully, but even if it doesn't I know that God is here with me every step of the way and He can help me get through whatever life pitches next. I know that this is a short update, and I'm not going to promise that I will update again tomorrow because I probably won't, and that way if I do, you can be shocked!! lol. I guess this is it for now, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all of you!!

It's about time for an update

Hey all, I know that I have really not been doing so great keeping this updated lately, but there has been so much happening, and then into exams and now I'm home for the holidays. There is so much to update that I possibly couldn't do it justice in one short blog. The main reason for that being that it is 2:45 am at the present time and I am pretty tired. i'm not really sleeping though, I have a lot on my mind, most of it is good things, and happy thoughts, but some of it is ugh, shut up thoughts. lol. Sorry. I might be kinda rambly at the moment, but I assure you that I have not lost my marbles, its simply because it is so late, or so early, depending on if your coffee cup is half empty or half full. lol, Ok, now down to the annoying part. I know that I always say that I will update later, but this time I really mean it. I couldn't possibly say everything that I have to say and still make it into bed before I have to roll right out again, so I have some time tomorrow that I will use specifically to update this thing. I just wanted to write a quick note for all those out there who read and are wondering if maybe I vanished. lol. Talk to y'all soon.

9 more days....

I can hardly believe that it is only nine more days until my last exam of sememster one. Time has literally flown by around here, it's been kinda crazy. Speaking of time flying by, this is going to have to be a short entry, exams are rapidly up on us up here, so classes are getting intense and long. I just thought I would update quickly to let you all know that I m still around, and I am feeling better, aside from the fact that I have managed to capture another cold. We had a Christmas party on the weekend, so I will have to write again tomorrow, before 1:00am and tell you all about it. But for now, I say goodnight to all. I miss you guys back home, and I'll see ya soon!!

To be on the edge of breaking down when no one is there to save you

I can't even imagine what that would feel like. I mean there have been time in my life that I have felt I was on the edge, or walking fairly close to it, but there have always been friends there to grab me before I fall. So you may be wondering what brings me to think about this. One of my best friends called me tonight and told me that her step-dad commited suicide. Now hearing that from the town I grew up in isn't really that big of a shocker to me. There are lost of people around there who are depressed to the point of being suicidal, it's just been in the past couple years that it's been more and more people that I know. It makes me wonder what made it so bad that they couldn't live any more. It's like that song *how do you get so lonley, how does it hurt so bad, to make you make the call, that having no life at all, is better than the life that you had* I wish that I could come up with an answer for that, but so far the only thing that I can think about is the fact that they must be scared.
This also made me think about how blessed I am. I have a great family, although we don't always get along, I know that they love me, and I have an amazing bunch of friends who I know would go to the end of the world with me if they had to, and I have an awesome God who takes care of me. Even now, when I'm sick and tired, I know that I am loved, even more so in the fact that my friends are taking on the roles of family for me to help me out.
Another thing this brought to my mind is why some people get to choose this route, while others have it chosen for them. And I'm not talking about a natural death either. I'm talking about accidents, murders, those sorts of things. It brought back to mind when Katie was killed in that accident. She was only 19, she didn't have the choice, and if she did, I know that she wouldn't have taken her own life. But one thing I hear time and time again, is things happen for a reason, and just because I don't know what that reason was, that doesn't mean that I can be angry about it. Yes I miss her tonnes, but I also know that she is dancing on the clouds with Jesus, where she always wanted to go when she had to leave this world.
As for those who make the choice, I can't honestly say that I know where they end up, I just pray for their families that God would envelope them in his love and that they might find peace in his presence. I think that this is going to have to be all for tonight, I'm still sick and keeping my eyes open at the moment is proving to be very difficult. Feel free to leave your opinion and let me know what you think, and if you are feeling alone and upset, talk to someone you trust, or call a helpline or something. Know that there are people out there who will listen without judging, and if you really don't want to talk to them, then at least give the Big Guy upstairs a chance. There is a tonne of power in prayers. God bless. Night guys!

Sleepless in Vermilion

Ok, so I am super tired at the moment, surprise surprise, that seems to be a standard thing with me now. I didn't end up at the porcine lab this morning, which made me thankful that it was an optional lab, for the simple reason that I was beat. I had just woken up and I was still very tired. I really hate being sick. As for why I am not sleeping now, I find it quite difficult to sleep sitting up and when I lay down, I find the congestion in my lungs is just a little too much for me to handle. I just wish that there was something that I could do to make it better. I go back to the doc on Wednesday, and hopefully I will get some good news there. So right now I sit on my bed, typing up this blog, holding my teddybear close and wishing that I had someone here to look after me. If there is one time when I get homesick, it's when I am physically sick and emotionally drained. I miss being a little kid when Dad would bring me a cup of orange juice or when Mom would make me soup. Right now I am doing all that for myself, which isn't a bad thing, but I just miss having someone to look after me. I know, I know, I'm a big kid now and should be able to look after myself, and I know that I am very capable of doing just that, I just get mopey when I'm sick, so thats the mood I'm right now. I think I'm going to leave it at that for tonight though, maybe I can update more another day, but I'm going to go make a cup of tea and try to relax at least a little bit before I have to be out the door again in the morning. So have a good night, or a great day, depending on when you are reading this. Ciao!

Four more weeks until Christmas

Yes I have started the countdown. Not that I want to leave Vermilion, I just want to go home for a bit, relax and get away from the house. Things haven't really been getting a lot better with my housemates. Actually, it only seems to be one, and it seems that the whole house is having issues with this one person. It's not really fun at all. I'm trying though, and God is really working on my attitude towards her. "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and all your soul and all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it; Love your neighbour as yourself" Matthew 22:37-39
That verse has really been sticking out in my head lately. God has called me to love her, even though at times she may not be the nicest person, I am to love her as I love myself. And the more I look at that verse, the more I look at myself and wonder, by saying that I am annoyed with her, then should I not first be annoyed with myself? I am really going to work on that.
It's been a while since my last update, although nothing really truly exciting happened. I've been sick and thats about it. School has been pretty good though, even with being sick I've managed to still attend all of my regular classes and labs, so I haven't fallen behind, although somedays I wonder if I would have maybe been further ahead if I had stayed in bed. lol.
Well I really hate to cut this short, cause it has been a while, but I am tired, and achy, and we have a porcine cesarian first thing in the morning, so bed is sounding like a fantastic idea. I will try and update again soon. Ciao!!

Back from the city!!

Hey all, SAVT conference was great!!! We got to the city early afternoon and went for a tour of the WCVM and VIDO. They were pretty interesting. I think that it would be cool to go and shadow a vet student for a day, you know, kinda get the first hand tour of what it would be like to be a vet student. After the tours we went to the Radisson to check into our rooms. Then we sat in the lobby for a bit, went out for supper and came back to register for the conference. We got so much cool stuff, they treated us very well, lol. After we were all registered and had our first meeting, we met up with Mel and headed out to Timmy Ho's for some coffee. We got home at a fair time (1am is fair isn't it, lol) then straight to bed to get some much needed sleep before the start of the conference. Saturday (my birthday) our day started early. 8am we were down in the conference rooms eating some breakfast and drinking some really nasty juice, then our sessions started. My first session was Emergency Triage, which was very interesting, followed by K9 aqua therapy, which I also found ver interesting and informative. Then we had lunch. They gave us all the stuff that we needed to make some pretty good taco's. After lunch it was Pain Management session and a session on neurological patient care. After that we scampered off to our rooms to prepare for the banquet. Everyone looked truly stunning and the food was just amazing. Amanda told one of the servers that it was my birthday and she went and got me a piece of cake and a candle and started singing "Happy Birthday" pretty soon most of the hall had joined in. I was pretty embarassed but very happy at the same time. After supper, there was a comedian, she was a riot, I think half the fun was watching some of the other people though, they had the most interesting expressions on their faces, lol. When that was ll over and the laughs were all up, Bronwynn, Amanda, Mark and myself headed over to Whiskey Jacks for some kareoke. It was really fun. Amanda and I sang "I will survive" by Gloria Gaynor. Mark said that we did really well. And they bought me a teddy bear. We went home pretty early. We left for the hotel at about quarter after 12, packed our bags and went to bed. 7am came really early this morning as we loaded the bus for our short trek to the WCVM for our wet labs. I had abstracts first, which wasn't too bad, but not really aplicable to a student, and lab animal handling second, which was pretty interesting. After that we were back on the bus and heading back to school. It seems to take forever to get anywhere on a bus. We got back from the city at about five and I went to see my dog. I think that pretty much brings you up to date on the happenings of my weekend. I had a really great birthday, and I'd just like to say thanks to everyone. You guys are great, and I couldn't honestly ask for better friends. I think I'm going to call it a night though, even though I did have a topic that I was going to blog on, I'm pretty tired and I'm thinking that it's just going to have to wait until next time. lol. I know that it's early to be going to bed, but this weekend kinda drained me. Night all. *hugzz*

Hey all

This is just a super quick entry to let you all know that I'm still here. It's been a while, and I do have a lot to update, but it won't be until next week sometime. I am leaving for conference in Saskatoon at 8 in the morning, so I'm going to catch some sleep before I go, I just thought I better say something on here, just incase you were wondering where I've been. lol, I'll update ya'll on the happenings at the conference, and everything else that has been going on in my life when I get back. Catch ya on the flip side.

A moment alone...

So today was good, well for the most part, I got a few things done around here that needed to be done, the most pressing thing being laundry. Other than that I pretty much had the whole house to myself, and it felt GREAT!!! Amanda was still here but she was in her room on the computer, as usual, Sia and Heather went to the horse sale, so I had the place to myself. It felt nice to be able to watch TV without someone coming along and channel surfing in the middle of a show, to be able to chill on the couch and not have to worry about people coming and talking (very loudly I might add) in your ear. As you may have gathered, things around here have been a little stressful lately. I think it comes from spending so much time with these people. Not that I have anything against them as people, so please don't read it that way, but the problem lies in the fact that we are all very very different people, with different views and different thoughts about things. Now on a once a week basis that would be fine, but for the most part (with a couple exceptions) we are together prety much 24/7. I like to go out with my other friends and do my own thing, but when I come home, the same person is always sitting there......grrrr....sometimes I wonder if maybe we should have put a little more thought into moving in with classmates, then I think no...we will get through this, and at the end of it we will be better people because of the struggles that we have come through. For the moment though, I believe that it will still remain difficult. Well I should probably run, I have to finish getting ready for kids church tomorrow and then figure out this time change that's supposed to be happening around here.....Catch y'all later.

I'm better today than I was yesterday, but hopefully not as good as I will be tomorrow....

Isn't that such a good quote? And it's the truth. This past week has been very trying, but I think I made it out alright. At the moment I'm sitting here, relaxing to some Starfield after a long night of studying. It feels good to just sit. Not have to worry about anything at the moment, just relax, it's been a while since I have felt that I could do that, but God has given me a peace about the exam tomorrow. I know my stuff, I worked hard to get to know that stuff, and I know that God will honor the work that i have put into it. He's been helping me through a tonne of stuff lately, and everytime I get through something I am reminded just how awesome He really is. I'm afraid this won't be a long blog as I am pretty tired and should get to bed, I will just leave you with one thought. Sit and soak it up. Everything that God gives you, the trials and the triumphs are all gifts to help you on your journey through life. Be Blessed! Ciao!!

On the edge of breaking down...

Ok, so maybe that is a little drastic, but this is honestly how I feel tonight. I'm beat, completely, stressed out bogged down and hurting. And in the process of being hurt, I realize that I have hurt other people. It's kinda a vicious circle, when someone gets hurt, they become defensive and snappy toward the people that are there for them. And for that I am truly sorry. I don't have a problem with you guys, and I'm sorry that I haven't stood up for you in the past few days. I am trying, but I am not perfect. Nor can I be perfect, and thats something I have had to nail into my brain lately. I try so hard to impress the people that are most impossible to impress. The only person that I have to prove myself to is God and he already thinks I'm worth it, he doesn't want me to hurt, but he's not going to force me to give it up to him. So that is the point that I am in my life. With that understanding that God would take it all from me, but still hanging on with some hope that if I don't let go it will go back to the way it was before. Then I also think about the fact that I cannot move on with my life while I am clinging to the past. So that brings me to want to let it go, but left with a fear of losing what little I am clinging to. I know that this may not make a lot of sense to some of you, but it doesn't have to..... I think I will leave this here for tonight, and those for those of you who care about me, please don't be worried. I am ok, well maybe not at the moment, but I will be. Have a good night guys.

I wish I was a puppy...

Everyone loves puppies. They are cute and cuddly and everyone wants one. They are never tossed away cause they aren't pretty enough. I mean people ditch puppies for other reasons(which I could make into a whole other blog cause that really bothers me), but not because of their appearance. So as I sit here tonight, very much not sleeping and thinking about life in general I have come to the conclusion that if I was a puppy I would be very much loved. Ok thats all, and no I'm not going to explain myself at the moment, possible another time, I'm tired and achy, and I'm going to bed, so night all. Love ya!

Just what I needed to hear....

Hey all, today was a really good day, other than the splitting headache that I have right now. At church this morning, Mark was speaking about healing. And one thing that he said really hit me, especially after last night. Healing is a process that involves taking steps in the right direction. Usually the first step is forgiveness, forgiving others and yourself. I had forgiven Matt, but I guess I hadn't gotten to the point that I Had forgiven myself yet. Well I think I made it there tonight. I'm not saying that it still doesn't hurt, because it's so easy to fall back into the whole woa is me catagory of people who sit around and mope because they got their hearts broken, all I'm saying is I'm going to do something about the hurt. I'm going to get out there and push it out of my life. I can't help others if I can't help myself, and I'm not much use if I can't do anything.
Wow it feels good to get that out. I had a good time at the EDGE tonight too, Heather and I played pool and fooseball then we played a game of cards with Shawn and Denise. I am really glad that I got connected with a place like that. I need to call it a night though, I'll actually be in bed before midnight for a change. thats a great thing cause I have a headache and tomorrow I have a radiology test, which hopefully I am well rested for. Tomorrow is going to be one heck of a day, so if I don't update you'll know why. Talk to ya'll later. Luv ya tonnes, Ciao!

Totally ok, I think

Tonight was good, well walking with Heather and the dogs was, playing at the park was, seeing Matt, well not so much. It's not that I feel that I still want to be with him, and I've forgiven him for everything, and up to that point I believed that I was truly over him, but seeing him again tonight hit me, and I was a little hurt. Not as bad as the last time, but a little. I want to get to the point where I don't hurt at all. I found a quote tonight...." Watching you walk out of my life doesn't make me bitter or scared about love, but rather makes me realize that if I wanted so much to be with the wrong person, how great it will be when the right onw comes along"
I want to get to that point. I do, and I thought I was at it, but tonight showed me that I'm not quite there yet. I don't feel the need to be with him anymore, and I don't feel like I will die everytime I hear his name, but I'm not to the point of not being scared, if that makes any sense at all. I talked to my buddy Shamus tonight, and she helped me out alot. She reminded me to turn to God, and although I knew that, I needed to be reminded of it once more. I think I'm gonna call it a night here pretty quick though, I didn't get a tonne of sleep last night, which could be the reason why this is hitting me so much harder....Night all, ciao!

The Dance

Tonight was Jet's 18th, so we he came up here to party. They needed a DD so I went to the bar with them. I was having a good time playing pool and just hanging out with my friends, not to happy about the whole bar scene, but I would have rather been there with them knowing that they were going to get where they were going safely then sitting at home worrying that they aren't safe. Anyways, theses guys from the army base in Wainright were up here playing pool, which was pretty cool, cause everyone was getting along super good, then some country music started to play and the one guy wanted to two-step. I'm an awful dancer, I didn't used to be, but then I stopped doing it and now I can't seem to get my feet straigtened out, but for whatever reason he decided that I would be a good candidate to dance with and Amanda and Matt both pushed me onto the dance floor. Talk about uncomfortable. First of all, he wanted to stand super close, don't get me wrong, it felt great, but thats the problem. I got hurt enough already because something *felt great*. Second he was big in the twirls and dips, twirling isn't that bad, but dipping is a little trickier. You really have to trust your dance partner. Dips are almost an intimate trust with your partner.... I want to dip with the man that I am going to be with for the rest of my life. I don't want to get dipped by just any guy, I want to dance with the man that God has prepared for me. I hope that he is a wonderful dancer, and I want each dance to be as exciting as the last. I don't want to be stepping on each others toes and I want so badly to look into his eyes and know that he loves me. I don't mean tomorrow, I mean whenever God brings us together. I love dancing, and I love dancing with guys, but I can't handle the dissapointment when you look into their eyes as you dance and realize that they don't truly care about you, they are dancing with you because they are inebriated and you look good to them at the time. I want my dance partner to be attracted to me without any assistance, I want to be able to dance with mascara running down my face, puffy eyes, in my pajamas and pink fuzzy slippers and still have my partner look at me as if I am the most beautiful girl on earth. Ok, so I'm pathetic I know, but I'm a girl, and it's late, and emotions are running high. Not to say that this stuff isn't true. I really do want all that, but I'm tired of finding it at the bars. Does that mean I'm going to stop dancing? No probably not, I'm just going to be super careful about who I dance with and what kind of dancing we are doing. I believe this is where I will stop.... not because I have nothing else to say, but I feel if I say anymore I may confuse myself. lol, Have a good night! God Bless, CIAO!!!!

To be completely honest.....

I don't really feel like updating tonight, but I will because I told you that I would. I don't know whats wrong with me today, I feel like I'm riding a roller coaster. One minute I am so awake and energetic and having a blast with my friends, then bam! the next minute I am feeling weak and shakey and so tired I can barely breathe because that takes too much effort. Hopefully it's a fleeing thing because I have to go into Lloyd tomorrow then out with the boys, it's Jet's 18th and someone needs to make sure that they get home safely. I'm going to try and get some more slee tonight though, and hopefully I am feeling better in the morning. God Bless. Ciao!

Quiet time

Finally, it's a little quiet around here anyways. I'm not meaning that my house mates are loud, cause to be completely honest with you I haven't been home all that much tonight, I was over at the clinic studying, then I was out with Heather, Matt and the dogs. And then I cam home and read over my notes again, had a hot shower, and here I am. It feels good to just be able to sit, although I feel as if I should review my notes once again, I know that I need to spend some time relaxing before bed, unwinding so that I can actually get some sleep, because I believe that it is just as important to get well rested before and exam as it is to get prepared for it. So I opted out of cranking into study mode and decided to update my blog, log some prayer time, and relax in the love of God. It's amazing really, I always used to be of the mind frame that I had to always be doing something, but now I'm like, I don't have to be doing something all the time. Sometime it's better to just sit. I'm not saying be lazy, all I'm saying is it's easier for God to take care of some things when your not up trying to make things go your way. Which by the way, they won't no matter how hard you try, things are not always going to go the way you want them to go. BE thankful for that, cause half the time if things went the way you wanted them too, you would end up hurt, trust me, I've been there before, that being said, sometimes God lets us have our own way to gently remind us that we don't know what we are doing when we try to completely control our lives. I've had a song on my heart lately, and maybe sometime you can hear it, but not right now, not until I have it in my head and my heart, and maybe on paper, lol, it's been helping me to focus on Gods awesome power though, and just the fact that he can do anything that he wants to do, and he loves us so much that he does tonnes of stuff for us..... ya it's a good song. I tihnk I'm going to stop here for tonight, I feel relaxed and calm and ready to go, but I'll update again tomorrow. Ciao!!!

A very special case indeed....

hey all, acutally I don't know if it is all, no one ever comments on here, so I'm not sure that people are actually reading this, however, if you do read it your in for a funny story tonight. So things have been, well interesting to say the least. This will be a super short entry tonight cause I'm tired and achy, but I couldn't go without blogging todays happenings, or at least 3am's happenings. So I was all snuggled into my bed, very comfy I might add, dreaming away about some stupid contest or something like that when all of a sudden WHAM! Something hit me right in the face. I just about died, then my nose started throbbing, and my eyes started tearing. Let me paint you a picture. Above my bed I have a shelf that houses my alarm clock, or at least used to. When I have my clock plugged in the cord hangs down beside my bed, not usually a big deal, but early early this morning, I thought it would be a good idea to roll over towards the wall (all while I was sleeping surprise surprise) Not such a good idea, my arm hooked around the cord and thus the pain and throbbing nose. I don't think it's broken, I wouldn't be sitting here typing this if it was broken, but I know that it is bruised and probably cracked in some way. I learned my lesson though, my alarm clock is now safely stowed away from my bed. I have to run though, I'm very tired. Stop laughing. STOP IT. Ok whatever, go ahead and laugh, it is kinda funny when you look back at it. Night all, or no one, I dunno, maybe someone will comment on this one and I will know they are reading it.......

Today I'm Thankful.......

I thought that would be an appropriate title, considering that it is Thanksgiving weekend and all. I spent some time today thinking about what I am thankful for, and the obvious things such as friends, family, shelter, food, clothing, and such things as that, came to mind right away. Then I started to think a little deeper. I mean ya it's great to be thankful for all those things, but those are the things that I am thankful for every year. Not that it's a bad thing to be thankful for those things, but after a while it just becomes repetition. So I thought, and I drank my apple cider, and I thought some more. I realized that I have so much that I am truly thankful for. One of the main things that I will share with you tonight is I am thankful that I am a child of God. He has rescued me and pulled me out of whatever pit i was headed to, and he holds my hand when I'm scared and he walks me through everything, one step at a time. I'm thankful for the hardships that he has given to me as they have helped me to grow and mature into the young woman of God that I am today, and that which I will become in the future. I am thankful for the prayers that did not get answered the way that I wanted them too. I am not a genius and I do not know what is best for people, God knows what he's doing and I am so thankful that he is patient with me when I choose to do things my own way. I'm thankful for the talents he has given to me. I have written a few songs in the last little while and it feels amazing to be able to do that. I'm thankful for the people in my life, even the ones that I fight with. I am thankful that I get to spend time with children. They are truly amazing, I wish that everyone in this world could have the faith of a small child, they truly could move mountains with their faith. I am thankful that I have been set free by the blood of Christ. Jesus washed away my sins so that I could enter the kingdom of heaven with him. There are so many other things that I am thankful for, and I could probably go on for pages and pages, but I won't because I have other things that I need to do, and I'm sure you do as well. I just wanted to share that, and ask you, what are you thankful for? Honestly think about that question. Look deeper into it, don't just say the standard responses. Love ya guys!!!

Some sensless ramblings.....

Hey all, I know it's been a while since my last update, but things have been slightly busy around the college then, they took away our phone lines, including internet, and now that I'm home I figured that I could update this. The phone lines should be working again by the time I get back, and I really hope they will be cause even though my new name is apparently Leslie, it was great to actually have a working phone. So I did pretty good on my SAH midterm, however, hemo needs a little more work. I just made totally stupid mistakes, such as not reading the whole question and stressing out about the whole exam. It won't happen again, I won't allow it. Anyways, I don't even really know where to start, not that there has been a tonne of interesting stuff going on, but there has been a tonne of stuff. We got our third and final rabies shot Wednesday, and this one is much worse then the last two. My arm is so swollen and itchy. Grrr... it drives me crazy!!! Hopefully it will go away in a couple days, along with the fatigue and total energy loss. Hmm.... what else, oh ya, I almost hit a freakin deer tonight, I was coming around the curvy roads at Unity and I just got around the corner and the deer ran out into the middle of the road, I missed it thank goodness cause that could have been very bad. I don't even want to think about it....... Lets change the subject. God's been doing a tonne of work in my life lately regarding relationships. He's showing me to trust more, but also more carefully, if that makes any sense at all, and he has sent me a really great group of friends to help me hear his voice and realize what I need to do. I don't really want to get into a long discussion about it at the moment, because I am kinda really tired and I probably should maybe get to bed. I will try and update a little more throughly tomorrow, I just thought that I would let you all know that I am home for the weekend and if you read this and are home too, give me a call and we should do coffee, or lunch or both, whichever works for you. lol, I really need to get some sleep I'm starting to ramble........

Always do what is right. This will surprise some people and astonish the rest.

So you know that girl that I was talking about in my last blog, the one that is now going to share a hotel room with us at our SAVT conference? Well I was walking to class today and I saw her, and I was so going to spin in the other direction and take a different route to class, but God was pushing me to talk to her, and let her know that she was welcome in our room. I really didn't want to do it, but I did anyways, and now I am so glad that I did. I honestly did not think that this girl was capable of emotions, but today in talking to her I realized that she was hurt by what those other girls did to her, but she is very excited that she gets to hang out with us. I was thinking all day about that, and how glad I am that God opened my eyes to that stuff. So overall today was a pretty alright day, except for the fact that my phone line died again, so I'm really not sure when that will be permanently up and running, it seems to kinda come and go as it pleases. I can hardly believe that it's October already. Before you know it, it'll be time to go for practicum then, *gulp*, VTNE time. Yikes..... oh well, I know that God will get me through it..... So tonight was pretty good, I watched a movie with the girls and Mark, then I shut myself in my room, played my guitar and cried. Tears of complete frustration with myself, but the were really refreshing. Sometimes I think God takes us to the point of tears because they are so cleansing. I felt so much better after that. Although I am very very tired right now, so maybe I will have to make this a short entry and get to bed. I think I'll probably write more tomorrow. Night all

Stop slamming the freakin door, and other annoyances

Have you ever met someone who bothers you so much you just want to pick them up and shake them, then slam them into a wall and run away? Ok so maybe thats a little harsh, but there is a girl in my class who really really really gets on my nerves, I mean I literally can't stand her, she always talks down to me like I'm stupid and she's got all the answers. Today was no different from any other day and she annoyed me almost even worse than she has other days. Tonight I heard that she will be staying in our hotel room for the SAVT conference. I was absolutley floored, there was no way I wanted her in my room, my birthday is the saturday of the conference, I want it to be fun and I don't want her to ruin it, it wasn't fair, she had already been signed up with someone else, it just wasn't fair that I would have to share with her. Notice how in the above sentence, it says was, thats a very important word in this rant, because then I heard what the other girls that she was supposed to stay with did to her. They went to the teacher, told her that they wouldn't stay with her, and they crossed her off the list, then they told her that she wasn't allowed to stay with them. When I heard that God really opened my eyes, and I mean opened them wide. I had a good look at myself and realized that I was no different from those girls, I was being just as immature and childish as they were. Thats when it really hit me. God called me to be different, I'm not supposed to be angry with her, she's a child of God just as much as I am. She may not be a believer, but God still loves her just the same. He didn't send Jesus to the cross just for me, although he would have if I had been the only person alive, but the truth of that matter is that I'm not the only person in this world (a truly shocking fact I know) and God sent Jesus for everyone, all sinners, not just me, get the picture. I sure did, so thats when it kinda hit me that I need to stop thinking about how horrible it was going to be staying in the same room as her for a whole weekend and start praying about it. Maybe God will take this opportunity for me to share something with her, even if it is just demonstrating the love of Jesus by my additude to her. All week I have been thinking about Pastor Shawn's message from two weeks ago about humbling yourself, and all week I've been thinking about being humble and I think the moment that I finally realized the I'm not the only one in the world was the moment that I truly became humble. I started to look at my life and realize how selfish I really have been. And this brings me to now, I'm sitting here, writing this blog, pouring out my emotions and honestly thinking about other people. I pray that God will help me to have more of a servants additude, and when I start to become totally self absorbed again that he will give me a reality check. I hope that maybe someone will read this blog and it will mean something to them, and it might help them to come to a realization in their life. It's so easy to fall back into old ways, cause thats the comfortable place to be, but you can't grow if you don't step outside of your comfort zone. I don't know about you, but I don't want to stay in this short shallow pool of existance that I have been living in. I want to step out, and grow in my faith to be more like Christ. Wow, what a feeling. Know that you as well are a child of God, the freedom in that statement is truly amazing, he loves you a million times more than you can ever imagine you can be loved. Embrace it, use it, share it with others. Bless ya guys! Oh and Normsy *Hello McFly* lol

Apparently the fish could live on the floor now...

Tonight was a crazy night. I studied for a bit then went out for supper with a few of the girls, then we came back and ran the dogs, like really ran them, we took the bikes and the dogs and went for a long ride. It was so much fun, then we got back here and Heather and Amanda tried to flood the place while filling the water cooler, it was really quite humerous, then Sia put clam juice in Heathers coffee when she was next door. The look on her face was priceless. Ya I think overall tonight was a good night. Oh, and my phone is working now, except for whatever reason it comes up as Leslie when I call anyone. lol, quite funny actually. I think what I could really use is some sleep, and maybe a little more review before the test tomorrow. I think I am going to do great on the exam though, just because I have been studying and I've been doing so well in my heamtology labs, I think as long as I stay calm that I should be fine. I was listening to music earlier, one song in particular actually, Shackles by Mary Mary, and just everything in that song was speaking to me. When I was all worked up about the whole *boy* issues my focus sure wasn't on God. And now I realize that sometimes I get back into that rut. I don't know if you've ever heard the song before, but if you haven't you need to and if you have you'll know what I'm talking about. You have to give everything to God, no matter how tough life may be, he can handle it, and he will handle it. He won't give you any thing that you can't handle, and everything tht he does give to you is to make you a better person, even if the only way it does that is to knock you off your high horse and humble you to the level you need to be at. One thing that I have discovered in the last three days is that God loves it when you call on him. He doesn't leave you, no matter how much you think that he has. The moments in your life when he feels the furthest away are the point in your life that you have no faith in him. How is he supposed to help you if you refuse to accept it. He's not going to force you to accept his help. So don't pray for soemthing if you don't want it to happen. On the other hand, don't ever underestimate the power of prayer, because God is always listening to you. He loves you sooooo much. Think about it, not many people would send their Sons to be killed so that you can be forgiven. I'll leave you with that thought for the night, I'm going to read over my notes again and get to bed. Have a blessed night guys.

The shortest route to get where you want to go is a straight line, until you run into something solid.

So I'm back now from the wedding and it was truly great. Angie looked so pretty in her dress, and Leigh looked very handsome. I was so amazed at how relaxed the whole thing was. Most weddings you go to, everyone is so uptight. It was just great to be able to relax and have fun. School has been pretty crazy lately, we had a midterm yesterday and we have exams all weekI knew that this year was going to be tough, but I didn't think that it would start this soon. lol. Things are going pretty good around here. I'm starting to get better, and I am definatly getting back on track with God. Sometimes I would get so angry at the fact that I was going through what I was going through, but then I am reminded time and time again that God is taking me through this for a reason, I may not know now what that reason is, but I do know that this has made me stronger and definatly showed me what I do not want in relationship. I guess I should probably end this here for tonight. I have another exam tomorrow and I'm thinking that getting some extra sleep would probably be a good idea. I'll try and write more tomorrow, but I'm not making any guarentees. Later all

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional!

That quote has meant so much to me in the past little while. I've been hurting since I got back here, you can ask anyone, I haven't really been myself and I owe it all to a little thing called heartbreak. I thought it would be easier than it was, but it sure wasn't. However I have now come to the realization that I offered a lot to him, and it hurts to have what I gave him discarded with such carelessness but I have also come to the relalization, that he could really care less if I sit around in my room and mope or if I get out there and move on with life. God has really been working on me lately. He has been showing me things about my life that I need to get past. The other night was spent in tears about things from the past that I have been hanging on to. God wants to take those things from me, he doesn't want me to suffer, he wants me to give those things to him and depend on him, but he won't pry them out of my fingers. That is where it becomes optional to suffer. There is always something thats going to hurt, thats part of the fall of man, nothing is going to be perfect, but just because it is painful doesn't mean that we have to sit around and act like we are in pain from it. We need to hand those things over to God and start the healing process. For those of you who know the whole situation, yes I have made progress. I won't do it anymore, I have given my relationships to God. He will help me to develop the ones that need to be developed and he will protect me. No this doesn't mean that I will never get hurt again, it's just I'm not going to get hurt in the same way. I won't let myself get into that situation again, by relying fully on God and letting him guide me in my relationships. I've been playing my guitar alot more lately, worshiping quitly and sitting in Gods awesom presence, even when I take Dash out for a walk, God comes with us, it's been amazing truly. I know that there will be days that I stumble again, but I'm hoping and praying that when I stumble and fall, I can get back up quickly. I have been trying lately to humble myself before God. I know it sounds like an easy thing to do, but every time I humble myself, I find myself putting myself above again, not above God, but above other things. I am not perfect and I know that, but I also know that God is working on me, on my attitude, my heart, all things about me, and I know that he will make me acceptable. It's taken me a while to get to this point but I think that I have finally forgiven myself, which helps me to move on and forgive others. Don't get me wrong there are still alot of things that I need to work on, but with God's help I think that I can crawl out of the pit that I have been living in lately and onto a path that is acceptable to God. I know that he doesn't have plans for me to be miserable, cause I can't very well be a disciple if I am locked in my room. Well I hate to stop well I am on a role, but I have a midterm on Monday, exams all next week and I have to be home for the wedding this weekend. I will talk to ya'll later. I want to thank you for your patience and prayers and hopefully I will hear from all you guys soon. Love you all!

A million dollar lesson

Hey all, so I watched million dollar baby tonight, a totally great show. All through the movie little things were jumping out at me, and even though it's not a *christian* movie, I learned a valuable lesson from it. 'Anyone can lose one fight', that was one line in the movie that particularly stuck out for me. Not in the literal sense of fighting as in physical or even verbal, but more in the sense of a neverending emotional battle within myself. I guess it took that line to make me realize that I have lost, and it's ok. Now that I have probably throughly confused you, most of you know that I have had trouble with this one particular guy, not that he's doing anything at the moment which is fine with me, but all summer I've been thinking about him and thinking that i was over him, and it only took me seeing him once to realize that I'm not even close. Not that I have a choice in the matter, it just kinda happened that way, we got a little too close too quickly and invested a lot in a relationship that should have never been invested in that relationship. And now here I am, hurting, in tears and totally lost in thought about what could have been different. Listening to that line in the movie made me realize that I have lost that fight, but just because I lost it doesn't mean that I won't have another fight to get involved in, and even if I fail at other attempts, eventually, persistance will pay off and I will win one. I just need to work on forgiving myself first. A very wise person told me tonight "God won't give you more than you can handle. He uses trials to make us stronger, and when we are broken He takes that opportuninty to mold us into something more spectacular than before." And the more I think about it the more I see the truth in those words. I know that I've known all along that God wouldn't let me go through this if I couldn't handle it, but I guess that it took someone pointing it out to me time and time again for me to actually get it stuck in my head. I know with all my heart that God is going to get me through this, and who knows, maybe at the end of it I will meet *Mr. Right* but for now he is just going to have to wait. I need to heal a little before I can move on. And now that I realize that I have lost, I need to get back up and brush myself off, and get back to conditioning so that the next fight that comes up, I am stronger, and don't break as eaisly. Not that being broken is a bad thing, but it does tend to hurt alot. I guess though, if I was never broken I could never be fixed, and that would be no good either.
I never realized how hard this was going to be until I got here this year, but I know that God will take care of me no matter what, even if I slip up again, He will be there holding my hand, helping me to see the light at the other end of the tunnel.
I better get going to bed though, it's late and I have to be up early tomorrow to do clinic chores before church, and I still need to do my devotions tonight. Hopefully all is going well for you guys, and I hope to hear from you all soon. I miss you guys tonnes, have a great night, and I'll try and keep you guys posted with any new developments...... lata all!

Getting shot didn't hurt that bad

OK before you freak out about the title, it's a shot, not getting shot, but I thought the title was fitting. We got our rabies shots yesterday, well the first in a series of three. The nurses were worried about me having a reaction, but so far I've been alright, at least I'm not foaming at the mouth. lol, not that I would, I would probably croak before that. Ok, but down to serious business....... unfortuantly this can't be long, cause it's going to be an early day tomorrow and it's already getting pretty late and I need to do my devotions tonight, cause *sigh* I missed them last night due to illness. I know I know, thats absolutley no excuse, but I couldn't even keep my eyes open and I was so cold, but I'm pretty sure that I will be ok, well at least I hope so....My clinic cat was so sick today, I was a little worried that I would walk back into the room and it would be dead, but it is slowly recovering now, unfortunatly I'm not sure that it will make it to a home to be loved, it's not the nicest cat in the world, and if it has something serious then we will have to destroy everyone, that would make me so sad..... hopefully we don't have to do that. Anyway onto a more cheerful subject, I've almost made it through another week. Surprisingly it has gone super quick. I took Dash to the club carnival tonight, she was our model for the Stock Dog Club. She was great, really good with the people who came by, but not the best example of a stock dog. She has a tonne of energy, after the club carnival we went and walked her, (in the pouring rain and I wonder why I'm sick) I'm so glad that I have her up here with me this year. When things get tough I find it helpful to take her for a walk and just spend some time with God, away from my housemates and distractions of the campus, not that there is anything wrong with my housemates or the campus, just sometimes I think it's important to take some time off. I've been thinking alot lately about what I'm going to do after I'm done school for good, I could come back and do a three year degree program in Edmonton and get a degree in Animal Health Technology or I could go to Calgary and try my hand at vet med, or I could go out and join the working world, providing I pass my VTNE, which apparently the passing mark went up 10%. Talk about freaking out. I get so worked up about exams, but this year I am going to try to have a completely different attitude about them. I believe that I can get a 90% on all my exams, and I am goign to go into my exams with a can do attitude. I'm starting to believe it when people tell me that attitude is everything!! Now only if I could have that attitude toward everything...... I'm trying though, I really am, but I still understand that this year is going to take a tonne of work, we can't use a calculator for anything this year, and we start into surgeries first thin in October, then before you know it it's March and bam, practicum here I come. I'm a little nervous, although I know that I have nothing to worry about cause the girls back home are great to work with and I know that if I have trouble with anything that they will help me out, hey who knows, maybe they will even help me study for the VTNE. Wow, I shoulg go though, I know this isn't really much of an update, but it's what I have for now, I do have more, but I really need to get going, the faster I get to my devotions the faster I can call it a night. lol, unless God has something else planned for me then I might be up all night. *Yawn* Night all, e-mail somtime so I know what's goign on with you guys, I promise that I will try to e-mail you back, luv ya

Sick as a dog, or in my case a cat

Ok so you can probably tell from the title that I am not feeling a 100% which totally sucks, cause being sick and looking after sick animals at the same time is truly no fun at all. An it doubly sucks cause we start our series of rabies shots tomorrow, and apparently they don't make you feel to great either. lol, just one thing after another...... I vaccinated the cat this afternoon and he didn't take my eyes out, so I was pretty happy about that, but so far thats been the highlight of my day. That means it can only get better right? I have one more class after this, then I think I'm going to have a long nap before I run my dog. Hopefully small animal diseases won't go long today, usually Robyn is pretty good about letting us out early, expecially on long days, which is pretty much evey day except for friday. lol I better run though, I don't want to be late, andI think I might start a loaf of bread before I go. Catch ya'll later.

Random nonsense and a life lesson, lol

Ok, so it's not really a life lesson, just something that I totally learned about myself tonight. I suck at fooseball. I went to the Edge with Heather tonight and played fooseball for an hour, and only won two games, it wasn't very good, I knew I sucked but I didn't think that I sucked that bad. lol, oh well it was fun at least. We found out that every sunday is college night, so I think that we will prolly go again sometime, as long as our schedual allows for it. So I'm sitting here with one of my housemates watching Save the Last Dance, and thinking about things that have been going on in my life in the past few days. I have been worried alot about boy stuff, mainly I keep thinking what if every guy I meet hurts me as bad as the last one, I don't want to be scared about never finding *the one* because I know in my heart that God will take care of it, but everytime I get mixed up with someone and get hurt then I build up walls and I get scared to let people get close, and if I never let anyone get close then how am I going to get to know anyone, and that starts a whole new way of thinking... grrr.. sometimes it's so frusterating being a girl... lol, not that I know what it's like to be a guy, which is probably a good thing cause I would probably just complain about that too. I'm sorry guys, I'm in a complainy mood lately, I don't know if it is because I'm stressed about a certain boy, or if it's just cause I'm not into full classes yet and I know that I'm going to go insane when I am. Oh well. I took Dash for a super long walk today, we went around town and then ran for a while. It was fun, at least for a little bit, I would have gone for longer but I think that we were both getting kinda tired. I haven't really been sleeping the greatest, hopefully once things start back to a schedual and I have no time to freak out about the little things maybe I will be able to sleep for a full night, even though I'm not really tired when I wake up in the morning. Church was good today, it felt good to be back. The congregation here is almost electric, you really feel welcome, and I always leave the service energized, kinda like the energy that you get from camp or a youth sermon. I think part of it could be the worship band, or maybe the simple fact that in a church that huge you can still feel at home. I've been to a few services at a church that only had like 30 members in the congregation and not one of them said hello when I walked in the door, when that happens it's kinda frusterating. I mean I know that I'm not the best at saying hi to people when they come to church and thats something I have to get better at, but God is really working with me on that one. Each time I step out of my comfort zone, God blesses me and even though he has brought me so far, I still find it difficult to step out of that zone. I hope that one day I will jsut be able to step out in faith and be a witness to those around me. I pray that God would help me to step out and meet tonnes of new people and develop new relationships. I also pray that he would help me to be a witness through my actions and my life. I want to be a witness to others. I really do, but I can't really witness to people if I'm scared of them. I suppose I should go, I get a clinic cat tomorrow so I suppose it would be a good thing to kinda be focused to be able to handle it. Cats don't seem to like me much, especially when I am trying to vaccinate them. lol, I will try to update you guys again soon, but if I don't I'll be home in two weeks for the wedding. Love y'all

If teardrops were kisses.....

Ok so thats a stupid title for an entry, but I shed a few tears today and really wish that they were kisses, not cause I want to be kissed but in my way of thinking kisses should technically hurt less then the tears shed today did. lol, sorry guys, I'm having a bit of a rough day, but things appear to be looking up from here. When I woke up this morning, I had a killer headache, I didn't want to talk to anyone or do anything, so I took a couple tylenol and went back to bed, when I finally got up I was in slightly a better mood, but I was still having a rough day. I've been worried alot about things from back home and boys (well one boy in particular) around here. I'm not worried as much as confused even though I wish I wasn't I have to take some time to figure things out. I think most of everyone who will be commenting on this will know the situation and for those of you who don't, I'm afraid that you don't know me well enough to know the whole story. I am trying to accept the fact that I'm hurting about it, but I'm also trying to get over the hurt, which isn't actually as easy as it should be, or at least as easy as I think it should be. Ok I believe that I have now succeeded to confuse myself. lol, easy enough to do..... any whoo, I have a great bunch of roomies who have helped me to feel better today. We were watching movies tonight and wating junk food, always a bonus to make you feel better, lol, at least for the time being. Things are looking up though.. Dash is getting along quite well in her kennel which is good, I was worried that she wouldn't adjust back to kennel life after she got so spoiled this summer. The animals are coming on Monday, and I have a cat for this week, then another week and I'll be home for the wedding. Thats exciting. I'm really kinda pumped to be back right now. I want to get started and get finished so that I can get done. lol.... anxious much, just a little. I think that I'll be more excited once I get my phone hooked up, which aparently won't be a while cause they are having problems with the land line here, they are trying to accomadate me though, by trying to set me up with a cell phone that will cost me the same as a land line. I really hope that it works out that way and that I can be up and talking soon. lol, that sounds kinda funny, I'm really glad that we got the intenet working in our house now. It's been great to be able to update this and get in contact with a few people. I should prolly go though and update this another day, I haven't eaten supper yet and I'm getting kinda hungry. lol, I'll chat at ya'll later, e-mail me and update me on what you guys have been up to. Love ya!!

upside out and backwards update lol

hey all, just a little note to let you know that I now have internet in my room at the house. no phone as of yet, they are still working on that one and hopefully it will be up and running soon. I miss all you guys from back home. I mean it's great to be back here and getting back into the swing of things, but I want to be home with all you guys, in my comfort zone where I would curl up in bed and hide if I wanted to. You may be a little confused at this, but the problem is lately I have been feeling pretty stressed, not unbarably, although if I'm stressed now I can't imagine what exam time will bring. I would love nothing more then to curl up in my bed and sleep until the stress goes away, but I suppose in order to do that I have to first pin point exactly what the stress in my life is. I have a pretty good idea of what it might be but absolutly no idea of how to fix it. I know that if I gave it totally to God that He would help me with it but for whatever reason, my stubborness is coming out and I can't seem to let go. Pray for me please. I am praying also, but I'm having a hard time doing so. I just get so sad sometimes, and other times I'm happy and excited. I'm just a roller coaster of emotion at the moment, which pretty much sucks but hopefully it will get better. I think it's just the stress of a new environment, new classes, and a wicked hard schedual, it's not that there are that many classes in it, it's the amount of extra time we have to spend after hours this year. Oh well I'll get used to it after a while I suppose. I picked up Dash today. I missed her so much, I never realized it until I got her back here. It's been great training her and I know that she has not yet reached her full potential, I just hope that after a summer of being completely spoiled that she can get back into the grind of working. lol, I know that sounds kinda silly for a dog, but it's the truth. I'm excited to have her back though. I suppose maybe I should go and try to get some sleep though. That may help, and now that I have net in my room, I will probably be updating this a little more frequently, although my entries may not always make sense. lol, oh well. night all!

Somewhat settled

Ok, so I'm moved in, no phone no net as of yet, but we are working on it. I'm in the computer lab right now so I'm not sure how long I can make this, I really don't like these keyboards. lol, suppose I shouldn't really complain, at least there is internet here. I'm moved into my house and I have unpacked and kinda organized my room, but my schedual is still completely nuts. We had class today and found out that on Monday's and Thursdays we have 7 hours of lecture, not fun at all. The rest of the time we have lab, that will be ok I suppose, I'm a little nervous about the amount of hours that we will be logging in the clinic but I guess I better get used to it if I am going to be doing it for the rest of my life. There is so much that I could update you guys on, but I think that I need to take a little time to figure it out for myself, don't worry though, I am praying about it, and hopefully God will show me soon what I am supposed to be doing. For now I will keep praying. I'm gonna run cause I really hate this keyboard, but I will put another update on soon. Talk to ya'll later.

Finally ready to go...

So I finally finished packing today and loaded it all in my vehicle so that I didn't have the urge to emptybut my boxes yet again. It's not that I don't want to go, I just don't like the transition, if I could just put all my stuff in my rav the morning I was leaving and unpack it all and have it set up a couple hours later I'd be set, but I'm not so much for the waiting in between. It hasn't been too bad though. Amanda came out a couple days early so that we can travel up somewhat together and arrive at the same time, I think that's awesome cause then we can help each other unpack, it always goes quicker when you have someone to keep you company. Saying goodbye to people has been difficult, but not too bad, cause I'll be back in a couple of weeks to pick up my dog. Until then she has to stay here with Mom and Dad. They have become quite attached to her though, so I'm sure it's not a problem. This is going to be a great year, well I think it will be anyways, maybe if I go into it with a positive attitude then it will go great. I was a little worried about the classes being harder, but after working practice all summer I think that I will be able to do fine. I may have to study a little more but I'm totally willing to put that effort in. I also have to remeber to spend my daily time with God. I learned from last year that it's so easy to walk away from Him when things are going good, cause really when everything is going your way you don't want anything else, but I also learned that it's those times when you walk away that God hits you the hardest and shows you just how much you need Him. I started a new devotion book yesterday, it's called Pathway to Purpose for Women. I haven't really got past the introduction yet, but it really jumped out at me at the store, so I think that it will be good to get started with. I'm not going to be able to write on this for a couple days... we wont' have internet hookup and I don't think that I'll have much time to get to the computer lab until after things have settled down and classes have started. I would love to write tonnes tonight, but I have a feeling that it is going to be a very long day tomorrow. I want to thank you guys for all your prayers, I know that I will need them in the months to come, as sometimes I forget the simple things when life starts to get stressful. I've often thought that God must get frusterated with me when I do that, but it seems that everytime I turn back to Him He embraces me with such love that I know that He wants to help me and give me rest. It took me a while to come to the place where I could surrender to Him and let Him help me, and there are still some issues that I struggle with letting go of, but God is really working on me, and I am excited to see what He is going to do in my life this year. Wow, I really shoud go, I mean I know it's still pretty early, but I'm beat and like I said before it's going to be a long day. Catch ya later guys! God Bless

So starts the chaos

I am sitting here in my Pj's looking at the huge mess around me, realising that I move in four days and I have now sucessfully packed and unpacked at least three times, the last time being an unpacking and now I am feeling very un-prepared. I suppose that I could just pack and leave it well enough alone, but my room looks so empty when I pack it, it makes me sad. I guess you could also say that I have having some hesitant thoughts about going back. Don't get me wrong, I am totally psyched to go back, and see all my friends again, but I am also going back knowing that this year will be harder then the last and that it is infact my last year and I will have to write a huge exam at the end of it all. I hate writing tests. I get to be kind of a stress case when it comes to exams. Even when it comes to spiritual tests, I always feel like I am going to fail, although I know that is not possible because God will be there holding my hand and my heart throughout the whole thing, and if I don't make the proper decision, He will help me to correct what I have made wrong. I have also learned time and time again, that He will not give me anything that I can not handle. With that being said, I should not be to terribly worried about the year that is set before me, cause I know that God will be taking care of me, but part of me is still nervous and aprehensive. I guess the purpose of this blog is to kinda of keep the folks back home up to date on what is going on, so I am hoping that it will serve it's purpose, I will try and blog often, but for now I must go and pack, and this time I will attempt to stay packed. Ciao all!