Ramblings of a Super-tech!

A long long time ago....

2010-10-16T20:31:00.002-06:00

Ok what seems like forever ago I updated this blog. I'm almost fairly certain that no one reads it any more though, probably because I'm so awful at keeping up with it. I am procrastinating at the moment though, so this seemed like a fitting thing to do, lol. Since I last blogged a lot has happened. School is going well, I took six straight weeks of physics, which I'm pretty sure is what hell is like, and I passed so I'm happy. I am still plugging away at my pre-vet req's trying to decide what will happen in the next year or so. There has been a lot of discouragement on the part of my acedemic advisors so I'm kinda pissed off at the university of saskatchewan right now. But never the less, I intend to apply and get in and become a kick-butt veterinarian! In august Mom had a hip replacement that was laced with complications, but she is doing much better now and the healing is progressing along very nicely. I have been working experience US for the last couple days running high school kids all over campus while still keeping up with my classes, and let me tell you that involved a lot of running from one end of campus to the other, lol, my legs hurt a tremendous amount but I'm sure that the cardio was good for me :) I have just been employed at Woodridge Vet Clinic. Yay me!!! It's just a casual position right now which is super because I don't need a lot of hours. Just enough to keep me in the game. I really do miss working in a clinic setting so hopefully this will help me get my drive back. It's not like I want to be anything else, but right now I just find it hard to focus on what my ultimate goals are. Wow this is kinda a randomly quick update. I just thought it was funny last time I was writing I had midterms and this time I am writing I also have midterms. Hopefully I will update again before my next set of midterms, but for now I think that I should go study! Hopefully there is still some random people out there that read this crazy thing! If there is great, if not, then I guess it's just a random waste of time :) I actually quite like random wastes of time, lol!

SO PROUD TO BE CANADIAN!

2010-03-01T22:30:00.000-06:00

Wow after the game last night, how can you not be proud to be a Canadian? All of our olympic athletes represented us well at the olympics and the fact that we brought home the most gold medals speaks very well for the competetors! So proud of all of them.
So a lot has happened since I last blogged. I have made a new friend. I can talk to her about anything, and she really doesn't mind if I cry on her shoulder, infact she tries to comfort me which makes me laugh. She's definantly on the heavy side, so standing next to her makes me feel skinny. Now before you think that I am a horrible friend for saying that let me tell you that she really doesn't mind. She doesn't have a name though, just a number, 703. Incase you haven't figured it out yet I'm not talking about a person. I'm talking about a holestein cow!! I have started milking in the dairy barn at the university and although it gets me up early and keeps me up late, I love it. At first there were a lot of challanges as the cows seemed to know that I was new and that they could push me around, until they figured out that I can be just as bossy as everyone else, then they co-operated and life has been smooth going. Let me tell you more about my new friend. She is an absolute sweetheart! She put her head over the gate and licked my shirt, so I turned around and scratched her head and neck for her. After that it became a mutual grooming, lol, I would scratch her neck and around behind her ears and she would lick my arms and my shirt. Have you ever felt a cows tongue? They are scratchy like a cat tongue, but much much larger, lol. When I was having a bad day, I talked to her, and it was almost like she understood. She nudged me when I was really upset and licked my hand and just made me feel better. It's almost like she was smiling at me. I know you all probably think I'm nuts, but I'm not.
Hmmmm what else has happened. Lots of stuff, lots of emotionally draining stuff and I have now ceased to sleep more than a few hours a night, which is really wearing on my nerves, and my health, I'm hoping that something will break that cycle soon and I can get a half decent sleep. If not I'm afraid I might have to visit a doc to get something, even just for one night. I hate taking pills though, so I guess we will see!!!!!!!!
School is going well. I'm writing midterms right now, so life is very busy, but then again when is it not? I'm fairly certain that I rocked my bio exam today, so I'm hoping that I'm write, I should find out next week hopefully. Until then I will just focus on studying for the rest of them and hope for the best, lol.
Anyways, I know that this has been a really quick update, but I'm gonna go, grab a cup of tea, do my devotions and attempt (hopefully successfully) to get some sleep!!! G'night blogging world! Take care! Hope to be blogging again soon!

Woo Hoo Long weekend!

2010-02-12T20:57:00.004-06:00

Even though it's a long weekend, it doesn't technically feel like one, but it will after Sunday, which I realize sounds backwards, but I have next week off of school and I intend to take a few days to relax, after this crazy weekend is over! I start milking at the barn this weekend, 5am Sunday morning! Yay me!!! Insanity I believe is the word for it, but I am excited never the less!!! Lambing went really well so now it's time to start a new adventure I suppose. It should be a good one. I guess I will decide after I've done it. Anyways super short post, but I'm not feeling to great tonight, so I think I'm gonna hit the hay early! Later blogger world, HAPPY FAMILY DAY WEEKEND!!!

Ch-ch-ch-changes

2010-02-01T22:01:00.002-06:00

So today was an interesting day....not that anything spectacular happend but I have been praying about a job change. Not that pet smart isn't an acceptable place to work, I just really feel that they don't appreciate me, or that my skills are being used to their fullest potential. On my way home I saw a sign for a vet clinic that is opening seriously across the street!!! SO CLOSE!!!! It's not like directly across from the apartment, but it is diagonally across, and definantly within walking distance, even in minus 50 weather that seems to be popular in this city, lol. Anyways, I'm trying to not get super excited about it as of yet, because I don't know if it will work out or not, but I am going to continue to pray about it, and I will contact them to find out if they would considering hiring a part time tech or not. It would be so nice to be back in a clinic though, keep my skills up to date, so I don't forget everything by the time that I get into vet school!!! In all honesty I miss working at a clinic and I really need to get back into one just to remind me why I am going back to school. I love watching people interact with their animals, and I miss that when I'm not at the clinic! Not that you can't watch people with their animals when your not in a clinic, but people look at you weird if you stare at them while they are walking down the road, lol. Oh well! More details to come as I find them out and as decisions are made!!!! Until that time, please pray for clarity and that my decision making abilities are not clouded by my wants! I can't believe that is it february already! This semester is going to fly by and that scares me!!! So much to do and so little time to do it in!!!! Oh well, such is life! I know that it will all get done so I don't know why I worry about it, lol. Anyways, speaking of getting things done, I have homework (surprise surprise) so I should go and get that done! G'night blogging world!

Way too long!

2010-01-31T18:34:00.003-06:00

Well hello again blogger world! It has been way too long, like seriously a year without posting? Why oh why have I gone that long? I blame facebook, just for someone to blame lol. I know there are no excuses, except the business of life, but I was looking through my old posts and found the one I had written about being busy, and I'm thankful that I have been busy, but I believe that I need to start getting back into the bloggin world. I really miss my friends, and I find that it is insanely hard to keep everyone up to date on everything that is going on. I also believe that I have a lot to say and no one to say it to, lol. I suppose though that we will have to wait and see what happens over the course of this year. If I don't blog more than this once then you will know that there is no point in coming back and reading this because I won't keep up with it, but if I post enough to make it worth your while to keep coming back and checking in with me, I would love to have you!!!! Wow where to start? This past year has been insane. I'm living in the city now, back to classes full time and while it is not all wonderful, I wouldn't trade it for anything right now. I'm going to skip over a lot of stuff or else I would be writing FOREVER! God has really been working on me this past year. Even more so in the last couple months, but it's a never ending process and I couldn't be more thankful that I serve a wonderful loveing God who will not give up on me NO MATTER WHAT! I was away to a leader retreat this past weekend and it was really a great weekend! A lot of tears were shed and a lot of heart issues were laid on the table. I came home from the weekend refreshed and renewed and ready to face the world again. Sometimes it's not so easy but I know that God is there to take me through. We were talking about identity this weekend. Who am I? Who am I beyond the masks that I put on to keep people from knowing whats going on? Who am I beyond the walls that I put up to keep people out? Who am I beyond the basic *acts* of religion? All of it boils down to one key point, no matter who I am to anyone in this world, I AM A CHILD OF GOD! and HE loves ME for who I am and for who HE has made me to be. The talents that He has given to me, the gifts, abilities and absolute blessings are all because He loves me unconditionally!!!!! It's an amazing feeling to know that no matter how much I screw up HE WILL STILL LOVE ME!!!!!! I learned a lot this weekend! I was also reminded once again that God can take away what he gives us in a heart beat and our identity needs to be in HIM not in who the world, or even ourselves expects us to be!!!! I think we need to be reminded of that sometimes. Also that no matter what the world thinks of us God thinks the world of us!!! Does that make sense? Read it again!!!!! God loves us ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssooooooooooooooooooo much and our humanity stands in the way when we mess up and try to hide instead of seeking forgiveness. Our mistakes are forgiven before we even make them, all we have to do is go to God and tell Him we are sorry.

"And you, my child, will be called a prophet of the Most High; for you will go on before the Lord to prepare the way for Him, to give his people the knowledge of salvation through the forgiveness of their sins, because of the tender mercy of our God, by which the rising sun will come to us from heaven" Luke 1:76-78

Hold on so tightly to that truth. God loves you!!!!!! and he loves me!!!!!!! and that is ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo exciting!!!!!!!

Well blogger world, I have a biology assignment to do, so I shall go and do that. I will attempt to post again soon. Keep checking in! Love you! And goodnight!!

Woah there cowboy!

2008-08-13T23:24:00.003-06:00

Have you ever gotten the feeling that life is just moving way to fast for you? I've been that way in this past little while, it just seems that no matter what I do I can't keep up with myself. I know it sounds a little crazy and possibly it is but I just feel like I can't get caught up. Take for instance the ever growing mountain of laundry I have to do before friday so that I can pack and be ready to leave right after work on saturday, it just seems that when I get it all done I have another load to put in. It's always just one more load, I never imagined that my *free time* would be consumed with laundry. Sigh, possibly it's because it just gets away from me. I don't have a tonne of spare time as it is and I'm afraid that it's not going to get any better once I start regular classes. I think that I might be able to keep up a little better from the simple fact that even though I will technically be working harder, I will be doing a lot of work from home, which means that while I am doing homework I can throw in a load of laundry, or if I need a break (which I can most certainly say that I will) I can do my dishes. Who needs sleep anyways? lol, highly overrated. It's not just my chores that have been getting to me though. It's been a little bit of everything from potential relationship problems (if you need more details you will have to e-mail me because there are some people who do not need to know what I mean by that statement and others that may already know, or those who think they might know but just aren't sure, anyways not important) to work, even to spiritual stuff. I just feel like my life has been really full in the last couple weeks but not really fulfilling. Does that make sense? Are we called to be senseless drones that just go through life never really living? NO I DON'T THINK SO!!!!! NICE TRY THOUGH!!!!! Just because I am busy doesn't mean that I get to stop living. I still need to make time for God, and make time for me, in amidst the other thing of life. Have you found yourself at a standstill in your relationship with your heavenly father? Possibly it's because you are not making time for him and the mountains of things that you just expect him to deal with keep building up. Let me ask you this question.... if you had a friend who constantly expected you to do things for them but was never really grateful for it, or never really spent any time with you other then to make sure that you are meeting their needs, would you keep doing things for that friend? Probably not, so why then do we expect God to? I mean not all of us, and not all of the time, but most of us at some point of time don't' give God the recognition that he deserves. When was the last time you thanked God for the sun in the sky? I know for me it's been a while. I think at some point of time or another, we all take God's awesome creation for granted. We need to slow down, step back from the business of life and breathe. Inhale the presence of God, let him walk with you, and ask him what you can do for him for a change instead of always expecting. It's not bad to ask for things that you need, but possibly we need to take time to do for God instead of always just taking. I know the *sermon* is kinda random, but it's been on my heart, so think about it, ponder it, pray about it, talk it over with the big guy. Just don't ignore it, and tomorrow when you get up thank God for another load of laundry, it means that you have clothes to wear, and in that fact you are better off then some people are. Think about it. Luv y'all. Have a great night/day/weekend if I don't post again before then!!!!

AAAAHHHH I"m being eaten alive!!!!

2008-07-28T21:53:00.002-06:00

Ok, so it's really not that bad, but the mosquito's are totally not even phased by my citronella candle that is sitting beside me and it is a million degrees hotter in the house then it is outside, so I decided to chance west nile and avoid heat stroke. I am officially taking some holidays (much needed I might add as I am almost certain that if I had to stay with that noisy bird for one day longer we would have had malakin stew. Not too sure how that would have tasted but I'm really glad that we don't need to find out. I am in kindersley at the moment. Got my loan papers signed and finalized and all of the finances in place for school in the fall so I am heading into the city to pick up some books on Wednesday then I"m not sure how I will spend the rest of my holidays. Probably back here, in kindersley, being bored, or catching up with my friends, I'm not too sure,. I guess we will just have to wait and see what happens. I'm not going to exhaust myself though, that is the main thing. I am on holidays for a reason, cause after I get back I only have two weeks of work then I am in Saskatoon at school for two weeks then back to Swift to start my regular fall session. It will be an interesting change in my life. Now instead of being up early to go to work, I will have to be up and fully alert early enough to learn, *groan*. I think that it will be ok though, actually I know that it will be ok, because if it wasn't going to be ok then God would have put a stop to it long before I started, starting with acceptance and finances and all that fun stuff. I know that this is the direction that I am supposed to be going, because everything has fallen into place, it's been great. Now as long as it keeps falling into place I will be one happy camper!!!
Have you ever sat back and just thought about how awesome your creator really is? I have been doing that a lot lately, with farm sitting, then tonight sitting out here, nothing really distracting me, watching the sun set, enjoying the cool breeze, and just thinking. There have been a lot of thunderstorm's lately and everytime there is one, I am reminded of how great and powerful God really is, and I'm not sure that I could even do it justice to explain it, it just makes me feel so small, but knowing that the Lord of all creation loves me and cares for me even if I was the only person alive, makes me feel so significant, so even in the feeling of smallness, I still feel uber important. It's a good feeling. I'm going to go and enjoy the awesomeness of it all, you should to!! Goodnight blogging world!!

Here I go again...

2008-07-21T23:25:00.000-06:00

So once again I have promised an update that has become long overdue. I don’t have an excuse as to why except for the fact that I got busy. Story of my life, busy busy busy..... oh well... Not that in my non-blogging span you have missed too much, it’s not like I have any big news, the most exciting thing that happened was my fiasco with breaking into my house, and I think that is probably a story for another time, as humorous as it is. I just finished reading a phenomenal book by Ted Dekker. I don’t know if any of you read his work or not, but he is a suspense author who writes some really great novels. The one I just finished is called Adam, and I would really not recommend it to people who frighten easily as it is as much a thriller as it is suspense. It is a really good book though. It was very thought provoking and made me think a lot which is ideal for a novel to do because it keeps your mind fresh right? Except for the fact that you miss a lot of sleep in anticipation for the next chapter. I should have possibly waited until I had a few days off to start reading it, but I didn’t so it has been a few late nights, but for the most part I read it on our way to farm calls. I have still been pretty tired for the start of this week; possibly it’s a Monday thing. Lol...... Other then that I really lead a boring life. It should hopefully pick up a bit in September when I start back to full time classes, which I am super nervous about, a little bit of doubt creeping in, I know, but I am also very excited about it. I’m not even sure why I would be nervous, but I guess it’s just part of starting anew adventure. I am sure that this is the direction that God is taking me because all of the doors have been opened; I haven’t had to pry them open. The information was there, and there were a couple stumbling points but it was mostly misunderstanding, all the paper work went through where it was supposed to and things are moving along very smoothly. I just hope now that I can get back into the groove of studying a lot, lol. I love to study though, I love to learn and I am confident that once I get back into the groove of things that studying will once again become second nature. I can also guarantee that I will never find as good of friends as I found when I was in Vermilion. Hopefully though, I can expand my variety of friends, and who knows, maybe I’ll meet some people who are almost comparable to my vermilionites ( my new word for the day referring not to those who live in vermilion but to those who I met while I was there.... just to clarify.) Anyways, speaking of being tired, I should get going, work will come all too early in the morning. I am not going to promise to write again, because honestly we all know that I will put a time frame on it that will come and go without a blog, so I guess the best thing to do is to check back often, leave a comment if you want and if you are getting sick of reading the same blog over and over again, then tell me to write new one, I’m sure that I can scrounge up something, who knows I might even share my house entrance story, lol. Have a good one blogging world!!!

Forever and a day

2008-06-21T23:22:00.002-06:00

Thats how long it feels since I have last posted, and to say that I have a good excuse as to why I haven't posted would be a lie. Oh I could probably think of a million reasons why I haven' posted, but none of them would be any good. I thought though, since I have decided to start back to school I should possibly start up an outlet as to keep in touch again. I have been really awful at keeping in touch with people and I apologize for that. It is my pledge right now tonight that I will try with all of my might to at the very minimum post here once a month and e-mai lonce a month. I am attempting to set an easy goal at this point in time because my schedual remains hectic. I suppose at some point in time that I may have to change the name of the blog again as well, I will be a super vet student, not a tech, I suppose I can remain a super tech though, until the time comes that I write my national exam. That will be a few years yet. I am excited and nervous all at the same time and there are some days where I honestly wonder what I am getting myself into because my days are long and hard as it is, why would i want to throw another 8 hours of studying on top of my already hectic life, then I am gently reminded that it will all be worth it in the end and I won't even remember what the big deal was all about. Besides sleep is overrated. I dont' think that I have had a long nights sleep in, well I can't even remember the last time that I slept a good solid 8 hours. I must apoligize for the errors on here as well, I am trying to get used to typing on my new laptop and the key board is a little different than the computer I had before so I often find myself hitting the wrong key, I suppose that will improve when I get used to it though, hopefully anyways or I won't be able to understand my notes, lol. Anyways I suppose thats all for now, I will write again tomorrow after church, for now I will say goodnight!

2007-12-01T15:30:00.001-06:00

I don't really feel like posting right now. Honestly I don't feel like doing much of anything. I'm tired and achy and have piles of homework that are not getting done at the moment because I have absolutly no ambition. My house is still a wreck. I keep saying, oh I'll clean it on my next day off but after working a whole week of 13 and 14 hour days, I don't really want to clean.

It's almost fall!!

2007-08-29T18:47:00.000-06:00

It's a growing realization as more and more guys are calling to book preg checks for their cattle, that fall is right around the corner followed very shortly thereafter by winter....brrr....I shiver just thinking about it. For the most part the summer months were unbearably hot, then all of a sudden the temperature dropped, so it feels a lot colder then it actually is, but it makes me dread the winter months. It is also a reminder of the furry little creatures that will soon seek warmth in my basement (ie; the mouse population) I had one today, I love my cats, they greeted me at the front door at lunch time with their prize, at least he was not up to scurrying up my pant leg. Don't get me wrong, I do not have a problem with mice, I have a problem with them being in my house, but as for their existance, as long as it is outside, I don't have a problem with it........Anyways, this isn't going to be a long update, just wanted to let y'all know that I am still kicking, I have to go to the store before it closes though, my fridge is quite bare, and I am craving a bowl of cereal.....lol.... Have a good one blogging world!

Breed Specific Legeslation...

2007-08-16T20:50:00.000-06:00

Just some fancy term for breed banning. I'm sure most of you reading this know what breed banning is, if you don't google it, get all the information on it and then come back and continue to read this. I also ask that you do not let my opinion become your opinion. This is by no means a brain washing blog attempting to get people to hate the banners, but it is my opinion on it, and being a tech almost makes me qualified to make a comment on the issue, if however you feel the same way I do about this whole pile of bull, then talk about it, thats the only way people are going to understand. You may ask why I call it a pile of bull...... that is exactly my thoughts on breed bans...some person who is in a position to make rules and regulations and get laws in motion is sitting in their chair going, "gee somone just got bit by a dog lets ban that breed". which in reality is not the answer. Don't get me wrong, it absolutly breaks my heart when I hear that someone was injured, or attacked by a dog, because dogs by nature are not meant to hurt people (aside from the protection factor which is really not the issue here because most people are talking about un-provoked atacks) It also breaks my heart when people start saying that the *breed is no good* Thats the biggest load of balogana I have ever heard. Aggression in dogs is not a breed problem. Yes there are breeds that have specific purposes, and please don't start resorting back to the 1600's here, because that was in the past and a lot of the original jobs of certain breeds have changed right along with the times. A lot of people now have the dogs that were originally used for protection as status symbols, and I believe that part of the problem starts there. When you have a dog, any dog (I've been chomped on by way more chihuahua's than I have rotties, or dobies) you need to commmit yourself to training that dog. Dogs are by nature pack oriented animals, and in a pack there is always a leader. YOU need to be that leader, or a dog will assume that position and threaten anyone who may challange that position. This is where the problem starts. A lot of people get a cute little puppy, with big feet cause he looks adorable in the litter, they bring him home and play with him cause they feel bad that he is away from mom, when he starts to chew on their hair and their fingers, it's cute, cause his teeth aren't sharp yet and he isn't strong enough to knock them over.... lets follow this same puppy for another week or so... he is getting much more confident in becoming who he is going to be, an 150lb dog with a ever developing attitude.....he starts to play with the kids standing on top of them, jumping on their tummies....you should have stopped this a week ago when he was still at the bottom of the pack. This might look cute and innocent now, but when he is 100 lbs it's not cute anymore and by that time he is going to be a lot harder to knock down a few pegs.... I'm not here to preach on obedience, that may come at another time if need be...all that I'm trying to illistrate here is that dominance needs to come from a very young age.....I do not honestly believe that there is such thing as a bad dog (all medical reasons excluded). There are trained dogs, and there are untrained dogs, and I'm not talking about the perfect compared to the ilmannered, if your dog is trained, you have control over them, they are always watching you for your reaction to things, and that is how they will learn right from wrong. The *untrained* dogs are the ones that are being labeled as *dangerous* and unfortunatly the whole breed gets that label put on them. Nine out of ten dogs that bite unprovoked also do not know the sit command. Interesting fact isn't it? If people would take the time to teach there dogs the acceptable way of behaving, there would not be this problem. Dogs learn from doing, if you let them fight as pup's they will grow up fighters, if you teach them dominance from day one they will be very content to let you be *top dog* and pack leader in their life. And why does this breed banning only seem to be on big dogs? I am fully aware that they do more damage when they bite, but little dogs bite more often..... Come to think of it, why is is that it is only dogs that are put under this *legeslation*. Driving home from work last night there was a group of kids on the sidewalk, I pulled over and they all scattered because they were beating up a kid that was smaller than them..... I label those children as *dangerous*. I think that the city should pass a law stating that no *dangerous* children are allowed in city limits. That would mean that the families of these dangers would have to move out of the city, or farm their kids out..... sounds a little ridiculous right? So why is it not ridiculous for dogs. I don't know about you, but my pets are my kids, they are spoiled to a certain extent but they are also disciplined. I am a firm believer that a *dangerous* person can do just as much, if not more damage, as a *dangerous* dog. But just because on person of a certain race commited a crime, you wouldn't say that all people from that race are no longer allowed in your city, that would be racist, it's not much different saying that all dogs of a certain breed are not allowed within city limits......I may be rambling here.... possibly because breed banning makes me so mad..... I work with animals on a daily basis, and I see my fair share of aggressive dogs, but then I come home at night and turn on the news, and I hear of a whole bunch of *aggressive* people, and in my opinion, guns can do alot more initial damage than teeth.I think I will leave you with that thought, because the more I think about this the more I want to shake the people who are making these rules.... What are your thoughts? Leave me some feedback, I would love to hear it..... Catch ya on the flip-side!

I am so HOT!

2007-07-16T22:07:00.000-06:00

No I'm not being vain.... I am talking about the temperature outside, not the physical aspect of a person....... It is smoking outside, like honestly, I was out painting my picinic table and benches this afternoon (I actually had a full day off of work, how cool is that) and I was ssssooooooo hot...... by the time I got one bench finished, I needed to come in and get another bottle of water, it's pretty sad, I know but when it is super hot outside I could drink gallons of water..... I know that this sounds strange, but I can hardly wait for fall, not that I like raking my yard, but the weather in the fall is truly awesome, it's cool, but not cold, and you can still get in a couple days at the lake without freezing your butt off...... Anyways, short update, cause I need to shower and get to bed...... Catch ya on the flipside blogger world!

Really, I'm still alive!

2007-07-15T23:45:00.000-06:00

Hello world! How is it going tonight, here has been very eventful and very busy, and then my computer has been on the fritz so I really haven't had much choice but to neglect my little blog and I know that it sounds like I am trying to make excuses, but I promise now that I will update at least once a week, even if it is a very short update, cause I realize that I haven't really been that good at keeping up with anyone these days... hmmm.... where to start..... lots has happened since I last blogged. I got offered a job back home, and although it sounded appealing at the time, the more I think about it the more I realize that there is nothing in Kindersley for me, I mean I still have a few friends there, but I love Swift Current, and I love my job here, and the people I work with (for the most part, there are times of frustration, but you get that anywhere right?) and I absolutley love my church family here, everyone is so friendly and you can harldy walk through the door without a hug or a handshake, it is truly awesome, so i declined the job. Very shortly after I did that, we had a case came in that made me wish I had taken it...lol... we had a dog come in that was absolutely full of maggots, and when I say full I mean really really full, we pulled maggots out of this dog for almost an hour and we had a little over half an icecream bucket full, it was gross, but at least the dog is feeling better though. It's always rewarding when you can see some successes instead of euthanasias all the time. I have started going back to the college and carreer group, I missed last week, cause I had to medicate my kitten. Oh by the way, for those of you who don't know, I have now added to my little family two little orange kittens. They have a bit of a sad story and originally they were only staying with me until I could find homes for them, but they wiggled their way into my heart pretty quickly and are here to stay. Last Sunday Rascal (aptly named) electrocuted himself (on what I am not 100% sure but I am guessing the outlet on the stove) I got home from church and honestly thought he was going to be dead.... Of course this had to happen when my vet was out of town, so off we went to the other Vet clinic in town,(who by the way are awesom people and just as good of vets as mine,) The prognosis was not good. His lungs were so full of fluid that he could barely breathe and according to all the books, his chance of survival was less that 0.3% I was pretty upset and fully intended to be digging a hole by the morning. We gave him some lasix, to try and draw the fluid out of his lungs, but it still wasn't looking very hopeful. I spent a lot of time praying that night, and God definantly answered prayers, because we re-checked his lungs in the morning, and all the fluid was gone. He is doign very well at the moment, and for a cat with only half a tongue left, he eats like a horse. I am so happy, and Praise God for my little miracle kitty. Other then work, life has been pretty uneventful, I went to a wedding back home, which was very nice and I have another one to go to in August, and hopefully, I can take a weekend off and go to the lake, or meet up with some friends or soemthing exciting. The weather has been so hot here that most of the time I don't really want to do anything. Even tonight when I went for a walk with Brenda and the dogs the temp was still very hot and we didn't start our walk until about 9:15pm I think it was still 25* outside. The breeze was nice but as soon as you were sheltered from the breeze, it was hot, and muggy, possibly brewing a thunderstorm for tonight. I hope not, a little rain to cool things off would be great, but it doesn't need to be stormy..... I'm hoping to get my picnic table and benches sanded and painted tomorrow because I have the day off, but if the weather is anything like it was today, my time might be better spent inside doing laundry or something of the sort. Anyways, I am getting tired so I think that I'm going to call it a night for now, and I will update again, if not tomorrow, then in the next week sometime, Have a good night all, and God Bless!!

2007-05-22T22:01:00.000-06:00

Hello faithful readers, although given the fact that it has almost been a month since my last post, I'm not sure how many of you are left, not that there were tonnes to begin with. I do apologize for my lack in blogging, but I have been so busy with work and trying to have some sort of a social life (which is non-existant anyways) that the last thing on my mind has been blogging. My hours are starting to get better though, which is nice, the past few days I have gotten away from the clinic before 7pm, which considering the hours that I have been working, thats pretty decent. Anyways, in light of my return to blogger, I am going to leave you with this brief introduction for tonight and go to bed. Have a good one and we will talk soon.

Puppies at midnight!

2007-04-29T01:52:00.001-06:00

Ok, so you are probably wondering what in the world I am doing blogging at 1:45am the truth is I am trying to unwind. I got called into work at 10:30 to check on a dog who was whelping, she had already been whelping for 6 hours so we were running a little low in the time department, but we decided to try some oxytocin first, when that didn't work, a c-section was our next option. By midnight things were well underway and we were trying to revive two lifeless puppies while Rodney was sewing up. At first things didn't look to hopeful. The puppies were out around 11:30 but they didn't really show any signs of being alive. By 12 they were showing some signs of movement andby 12:30 they were crying and moving. It took us about half an hour to recover mom, and she was scared of the puppies. I know that she will get used to them though, she will be a good mom, she is such a good tempered dog. So that brings me to now. I am very excited that we had a success story, which is a bit of an issue because I have to be at church early tomorrow, but I can't seem to slow down enough to sleep. lol.... anyways, I am going to go and try and sleep. We will see how that goes. Catch ya'll later!

Still kicking

2007-04-27T22:15:00.000-06:00

Ok, ok, I know, it has been an insanely long time since my last blog and I apologize and in all reality I have no excuse. I have just been feeling private lately I guess....... Nothing really tremendous has happened since the last blog, so really updating would be unneccessary. I just wanted to let ya'll know that I am still alive... unfortunatly thats all I can offer for tonight, if you feel you need more information, e-mail me and I would be more then happy to write back.

Java java java....

2007-03-22T21:52:00.000-06:00

I need a cup of coffee. lol... I have taken the midnight shift at the clinic for the second night in a row tonight, and I'm a little tired. Not always do I have to be there at midnight, but we amputated a leg on a cat on Wednesday and she needs painkillers and an antibiotic and I am the lucky canididate to give it to her, which means that I have to stay awake, not that I have a problem with that. I'm actually really excited about it because she is doing so well. Going from the point that we thought that we might lose her back to eating and drinking on her own and learning to walk on three legs quite quickly. I know you are probably going to think that this is stupid, but watching her inspires me. She is so quick to learn to fight and get back on her feet, why can't I be more like that? When I get knocked down I prefer to sit there and wallow in self pity...lol.... ok so I'm not that bad, but really how many times after a bad day, a broken heart, a disagreement, or really anything that didn't really go the way we wanted it to go do we sit around complaining about it instead of getting up, brushing the dirt off and getting back on the horse to try again. Why are we more content to sit back and hide in the shadows? Is it because we are afraid of getting hurt at a deeper level, or repeatedly at the same level? I know it sucks to get hurt, and I am just as guilty as the next person for sitting in the shadows and attempting to be invisiable, but I am slowly learning to be more like the cat. I want to be more like the cat. I want to be able to just brush it off and go instead of holding on to the past. You can't move forward if you are bound to the past..... any way.....thats my thought pattern for tonight..... i'm off to grab a tims, realax for a few, then head out to the clinic to look after le chat.... night all.... feel free to comment or ask questions...lol.... i'm so tired......

Cold feet...

2007-01-31T23:25:00.000-06:00

Hey there blogging world! Just thought that it was about time for a quick update. There is lots going on in my life lately, not all of which I will blog about becuase that would take days and I really don't have the time for that...lol.... I am pretty tired lately, been working hard and keeping fairly busy. I taught a dog bite prevention class with Dash tonight. It was great! It was kinda shocking at the amount of stuff that people don't ever think about when approaching a dog. And I think it was good for the adults as well as the kids. I think everyone got something out of it. A lot of you are probably wondering about the title of my blog... not I'm not nervous about making a big decision, my feet are honest to goodness freezing cold, and I really can't get them to warm up. I've tried soaking them in hot water, using my heat pack, sitting infront of the heater, they just won't warm up.... oh well, I'm sure that eventually they will get warmer, I'm hoping soon.... anyways, I just thought that I should possibly update, but I"m thinking now would be a great time to get to bed, I'm tired and if I continue to stay awake and blog I might sleep through work tomorrow... lol, just kidding I wouldnt sleep through work but I would be very tired so I'm off to bed. Have a great night and until the next time adios!

Totally Cool!!!

2007-01-18T22:12:00.000-06:00

Hey all, I was going to update yesterday, but there were not enough hours to do a posting, so I shall post today. We did the coolest surgery yesterday. We did Cannula surgeries on cattle to put rumen fistula's in. I was going to post pictures but I didn't think that many people would be so keen on that, but for those of you who want to see pics of the surgery let me know, and I'll e-mail them to you..... Today was pretty good.... very busy but pretty good...I was supposed to be working reception so that I could take it easier and let my bruises from last week heal, but because of sick kids we ended up short staffed and instead of taking it easy I worked as two employees on a day that would have been crazy busy if I was only doing on job..... but it was alright, I made it out alive, and hopefully things can get back to normal tomorrow..... if all goes well I might not even have to work over time tomorrow!! That would be super exciting.... anyways, I know this was a short update, but I'm singing in church on Sunday and I really feel that I should practice my song...Catch ya'll later!!

Attention Anonymous....

2007-01-11T23:19:00.000-06:00

Wow, I was starting to believe that no one actually read this, but I guess you do, whoever you might be.....so I guess this post is for you...... it has been a really long time since I updated, I'm not even sure where to start.....the past couple of months have been amazing, trying at times, stressful mostly, but truly blessed when it really comes down to it.... I got to go back to Kindersley for Christmas and spend time with my family, which was great. New Years was the *big event of the year*. Angela and Grant finally tied the knot! The wedding was beautiful, and on the big day everyone really did look fantastic. I survived my speech, which was a miracle in itself considering I really don't handle public speaking well....I guess I better get used to it though, Brenda has asked me to be part of the worship team, and I said yes, not quite sure what made me say yes, because I get super nervous and turn all red, then I get flustered and forget the words, lol..pathetic, I know and someday perhaps I will get over that, I hope...... Work is going great, keeping busy which is great, I don't like the days when it is slow, it always seems like you work forever but get nothing done...... tomorrow I would like a slow day, not because I want it to be frusterating, but I am slightly bruised at the moment and not entirely sure that I will be walking in the morning, totally blaming it on the three inches of ice I park on, it has absolutly nothing to do with my total lack of gracefulness....lol...... I think for this exact point in time, i'm done, I'm tired and achy and totally lacking in the sleep department, I do promise to blog again soon, have a good one!

Attention single men

2006-10-30T22:04:00.000-06:00

I would like to introduce you to a beautiful young eligable bachlorette. Her name is N. Bell, no thats to obvious, lets just call her Norma B. Anyways, I promised her a tribute, so here it is! This young lady has become a good friend of mine over the past years, I don't even know how many because it seems like we have known each other forever.

She is very talented in her music and boy can she bake!! I tell ya guys, she would be a great catch. She's fun loving and active and you don't ever have to worry about those ackward sliences!! She has travelled the world and is full of life experiences. She loves children and pets, and having fun with her friends. When she puts her mind to something, watch out world cause there she goes!!

I don't feel that physical looks are an important part of this post although she has a gold medal in the looks department. So boys if you are looking for a smart, talented, beautiful young lady leave a comment and I might be able to hook you up!

P.S NJ I know that you are reading this, and I know it's not extravagent, but short and sweet was kinda of the way I was going. You know how fabulous you are! Tonnes of hugzz!!

What are you afraid of?

2006-10-26T22:15:00.000-06:00

After Womens Bible study we were given a homework assignment. It didn't really sounds like a tough assignment, but as I actually attempt to get it done, I realize how hard it actually is. The assignment is to write down everything that we are afraid of. Anything we think about during the day that scares us, we are supposed to write it down and bring it to the table. The first day I woke up ready to face the world, and then I realized that fear itself scares me. After putting thought into this assignment, I have found that most of what I accomplish during the day actually scares me to a certain extent. Not the point of being frozen or stopped by that fear, but the the point that is worth taking a look at. For example, I'm scared of what people think of me. Not that it matters to me what they think of me, because I am who I am and there is no need to change that, but in the process of thinking about my fears I realized that it is something that in the back of my mind, subconciously I am always worried about. Don't get me wrong, it doesn't consume me, but it is there and I think that was an important thing to write down. Now having started with the first thing being fear itself that scares me makes this assignment a little more complicated for persons such as myself, because if fear in itself is your biggest fear, then anything that you are afraid of automatically magnifies, because you are dealing with more then one fear at once. For instance, if your greatest fear is fear and you second fear is rejection, that fear of fear and rejection doubles in size and canplace considerable doubt in your mind about stepping out of your comfort zone for fear of having to faces your fears, which terrifies you at the thought of being afraid of anything in the first place. Are you following the complicated path that appears to be my existance? Fear tends to hold you back, but in the absence of fear, would you make stupid choices? Not that people with fears never make stupid choices, but if you had no fears, would common sense hold you back, or would you be a careless risk taker, willing to step up to the plate on any challenge, no matter how stupid it would be? But then if you had no fears would it really be that stupid? I can't imagine living a life with no fears, but I also can't imagine living a life consumed by fears, to scared to breathe or make a move. I think that there are healthy fears, which keep us in check safety wise, but I think that most of our fears are actually unhealthy. As soon as a fear becomes a barrier against living a normal life, then is is very unhealthy. But how do you get over that fear? I don't think it's something you just wake up one morning and decide not to be scared any more, I think that it's something that you need to talk to people about and actually work it out, not just brush it off to the side. I don't think it's healthy to live in fear, but to live with fear, co-existing, but still managing to live your life, and function on a day to day basis. So I leave you with this question....what are you afraid of? And what is your biggest fear? Put some thought into it, I would love to hear your answer, and know that I am not the only person out there with fears..... Have a good one, God Bless.

It's been a while....

2006-10-06T23:41:00.000-06:00

almost to long actually. I do apologize to all of you for not blogging recently, life has been pretty busy lately, and even though that is no excuse, that is the one that i chose to use. Anyways, this won't be a long post cause I'm tired, and work comes to early in the morning, lol, then I have to hit the road for some turkey dinner with my family. I just thought that I'd let y'all know that I'm moved into my new house, not totally settled yet, but almost. I love it, and so does Dash and Thumper, everyone seems to be good with the fact that we have more space and appliances that actually work, no leaking taps, and warmth. Anyways, just thought I'd let ya know, but I'm off to bed. I promise that I will update again before the month is out, I just thought that you might like to know that I'm moved, and still alive.... G'night all!!

Learning how to fly...

2006-09-03T22:54:00.000-06:00

So my angel hawk has re-learned to use his wings, even though they are bruised and battered he (or she, i'm not really sure) managed to fly away yesterday. It was a little sad, but also very good, because it wasn't fair for a wild bird to be kept in captivity, but I was starting to like the little guy. Lol, however, I have gained another lesson from this interesting specimen though, no matter how hard you have been hit, it is totally posible to spread your wings and fly again. And if you don't believe the lesson from the bird, then believe it from me. Life has been hitting me pretty hard this last little while, but with all of your prayers and suport, I have made it through the bruises and although life is still painful, things are starting to look up. As of October 1st I will be moving out of my apartment and into a house (woo hoo!!) I got a raise at work, and I am starting to get to know a lot of people my age. I know to someone who doesn't really know a lot of what is going on, this might seem insignficant, but to me this is huge. I'm tired though, so I'll update again soon, but for now, it's time for bed. I'm excited to have a day off tomorrow, it'll be the first one that I haven't had anything to do in a while, even though I will probably find something to do (like pack for instance). Or maybe I will just rest all day (lol, decisions decisions) anywhoo, I'll catch ya'll at a later date. Have a good one, and I'll update again soon.

I asked for an angel....

2006-09-01T23:27:00.000-06:00

and I got a hawk instead. Not that I'm upset about this, because having this little guy in my care these past few days has reminded me of how special God's creations really are. And every day that I wave meat infront of this hawks face and he hisses at me, I am reminded again of the delicate balance of life here on earth. One minute you are flying high and the next minute you are smoked by a semi tuck and not able to fly. Have you noticed that sometimes our lives are like that? Not literally, but in comparison, life doesn't always go the way we want it to go (and trust me this last little while my life has been a living testimony of this, although things are looking up now) I have felt unable to fly, but as I watch this little guy struggle to regain his rightful place in the air, I am reminded that one must keep trying. If you never spread your wings you will never be able to fly, and if you can only fly for a few seconds, there will be someone there to wrap you in a warm towel and put you back in the safety of your cage until the next morning when you can flap your wings again and each day get a little stronger. At this point in time, I am at the flapping stage, trying to make progress, but not really lifting off the ground, however that will change soon enough as I am moving into a house in October. It's funny how God works things out, I asked for an angel, and he sent it in the form of a hawk, so that I might better understand life's struggles, and have my life put into perspective. So the next time you feel like you have been hit by a truck, remember this blog, and keep trying to fly!

A break in the clouds

2006-08-29T21:44:00.000-06:00

Hey fellow bloggers and faithful readers. I got a spot of good news today, my VTNE marks came in and I passed! Woo hoo!! It took long enough for them to come in, but they finally came in! You don't get an actual mark though, which was slightly dissapointing beacause it doesn't really give me much of an idea areas that may need improvment, but I passed, and thats the important part. This week has been pretty rough. Nana's condo has been sold, which kinda put us on a deadline, but we have most of it cleared out, and there are just a few items left. Even though that makes me sad, I'm also slightly happy about it, because it needs to be done, and if we waited for to long, we might have a problem selling it. So at this point in time it feels like a good thing, but with the way I have been feeling, that could change in the next half hour or so. I hate feeling like this, not feeling happy, but not necessairly feeling sad, just numb, and every once in a while I burst into tears, I guess thats to be expected, but I really hate this feeling. It's the numbness that I hate, I would hate to be sad, however at least I would have a feeling. Right now I'm feelingless, does that make sense? When I smile it isn't because I'm happy, it's because I think that I should be happy. Do you think it's possible that a person can build up a wall around their heart so hard that they become numb? And if so how does that person go about breaking down that wall? Maybe thats not even my problem, maybe it's just fatigue. Anyways, I'm outta here, so I'll catch y'all later. Have a good one!

A Pet's Plea

2006-08-23T20:17:00.000-06:00

Treat me kindly my beloved friend, for no heart in all the world is more greatful for kindness than the loving heart of me.
Do not break my spirit with a stick, for though I might lick your hand between blows, your patience and understanding will more quickly teach me the things you would have me learn.
Speak to me often for your voice is the world's sweetest music, as you must know by the fierce wagging of my tail when the sound of your footstep falls upon my waiting ears.
Please take me inside when it is cold and wet, for I am a domesticated animal, no longer accustomed to bitter elements. I ask no greater glory than the privilege of sitting at your feet beside the hearth.
Keep my pan filled with fresh water, for I cannot tell you when I suffer thirst.
Feed me clean food that I may stay well to romp and play and do your bidding, to walk by your side, and stand ready, willing and able to protect you with my life, should your life be in danger.
And my friend, when I am very old, and I no longer enjoy good health, hearing, and sight, do not make any heroic efforts to keep me going. I am not having any fun. Please see to it that my life is taken gently. I shall leave this earth knowing with the last breath I draw that my fate was always the safest in your hands.
~Author Unknown~

I just wanted to share this with al you pet lovers out there, and even those of you who don't love pets, because I truly believe that you need to read this to. I see to many animals in practice who are mistreated, neglected, scared, and abandoned. It hurts, so I ask you to read this, and take it to heart. I don't honestly know how I would be getting through life if I didn't have my dog right now. She is very special to me, and she always listens. There is a reason that God created dogs, and I believe that they deserve to be treated well and loved. Thats all for now.....

I'm back.....

2006-08-22T21:55:00.000-06:00

Hello faithful readers, I apologize for my lack in blogging, but life has been quite stressful lately. For those of you who didn't know, my Nana passed away on August 14th at around 10pm. I am very saddened by her leaving, but I am also relieved, for I know that I now have another Guardian Angel. As much as it hurts that she is gone, I know that she is no longer suffering or in pain, and that seems to numb the hurt a little bit. As for what to do now, I'm not so sure. I suppose that I will get on with life, eventually. I'm back to work, but every day is different. Some days are a lot more difficult than others, and it's on those difficult days that I really wish I was back home. I do have a great support team up here, and I really appreciate all that they are doing for me, but they can't be here all hours of the day (even though they have offered) and sometimes it's the being alone that is getting to me. I suppose I should go to bed though, I seem to be tired all the time, and I'm really not sleeping well, but any sleep I can get I suppose would be a bonus. Goodnight fellow bloggers, faithful readers, I promise to try to update more often.

Not so sure.....

2006-07-22T22:06:00.000-06:00

Hey all! I know it's been a while since my last update on here, but life has been a little hectic. My Nana was really really sick, but she is getting a lot stronger now. They say she might even get out of the hospital, thats exciting. Work has been crazy this past week, Rodney went on holidays and there was an anthrax outbreak at Chaplin. People have been calling in freaking out because the vaccine is backordered. It'll be nice when Rodney gets back and they can be grouchy with him instead of me. This last little while has been tough. I'm getting kinda lonley here, besides when I'm at work, the only people I talk to are the people at church on Sunday morning, and to tell you the truth, that just isn't enough. I mean my dog is awesome, she really is, but she's not much in the communication skills, she's great for a cuddle and a nudge, but she doesn't have words that I can understand. I'd really like to get into a house so that she can roam free in the backyard and be outside for as long as she wants, and I could sit out in the yard and play my guitar, and then if I met some people, I could have them over for a game of cards or something. I'm not asking for a big house, anything will do, but I just want something with a yard, and a place where people aren't partying all the time. Seriously, for only have *quiet tennents* my apartment is sure loud.... Anyways, I suppose that I shall go and continue being a loner, it sucks, but whatever happens happens I suppose..... catch ya later!

Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game

2006-07-05T21:28:00.000-06:00

Have you ever seen the movie A Cinderella Story? It's a good movie, and it you haven't seen it I reccomend watching it (it's one of those don't have to put a lot of thought into it but every once in a while it tugs at your heart movies) Anyways, this post isn't about the movie, it's actually about the quote (that I've heard a million times before but really needed to hear again) Lately, things have been a little stressful lately. A few nights ago, I had a horrible nightmare and it seemed so real that I haven't been sleeping the best anyways and then the other night I found out that Nana is in the hospital......I really want to get home to see her, and it sucks that I can't but I know that God has a reason why I am still up there. Even though I am scared that something is going to happen, I have to realize that God is in control of the situation, and I have to let him have it. I read a quote in my devotional the other day that said *Submission to God means taking our hands off of what belongs to him.* That quote has also been sticking in my head, and it's so true, because I can't change something that has already happened, that I don't have control over, only God can do that, but I do have the choice to give it over to him and not worry about it, and for those of you who know me, you know how tough that is going to be, seeing as I worry about most things..... anyways, I'm sorry for the sensless ramblings... take from them what you are supposed to and leave the rest for the next person, I know that it's early, but I'm off to bed, I don't need to make myself sick from no sleep, so I'm going to try my best to get a little bit. Talk to ya later!

In need of some flying lessons....

2006-06-25T00:02:00.000-06:00

"When we come to the edge of the light we know, and are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown, of this we can be sure; either God will provide something solid to stand on or we will be taught to fly"
Author Unknown

This quote has really been sticking out in my mind lately, I got it in an e-mail that someone sent me a while back and I kinda forgot about it until now. I'm getting slightly discouraged, not at the fact that I still don't know many people, but more at the fact that even if I did know people, I wouldn't have any time to spend with them. I worked close to 63 hours this week, and it doesn't look much better for next week. Don't get me wrong, I absolutly love my job and I don't mind the hours, but I am starting to get a little burned out. I think it's mostly because I haven't really been sleeping a lot, my neighbours upstairs like their music loud and their footsteps heavy.... ideally, i'd find a place that had a backyard and quiet neighbours/tennents... I guess that I can't really complain though, because I am picky, I really want a place where Dash can live with me, it would just be nice if that place could be quiet and nice for her as well, like more room for her to run while i'm at work, or if I wanted to go out after work, lol, not that it happens a lot... Ok I'm done my pity party, when God's ready for me to get out of here he'll provide a place.
Anyways, on to less depressing chat, cause I'm done feeling sorry for myself. So the owl made it's way to saskatoon today instead of yesterday. As of last night it was bathed again, eating well and drinking. Also he was trying to fly, which was so exciting, because when he first came he couldn't even open his wings. (I don't actually know the owls gender, but based on his size, I believe that it is male, however it could just be a jeuvenile hoot, I'm really not sure so for now I shall call it a he) Anyways, I'm anxious to keep up to date on the whole recovery and I promise to keep you up to date as well (whether you care or not is irrelavent because I think he's really neat and no one is forcing you to read this blog) I have lots of pictures, I'm pretty excited.
I can't believe that it's almost the end of June, the time has gone by so fast, not like I'll be going back to school or anything...lol.... I'm glad to be done, but I'm also sad not to be going back. I know that probably doesn't make a lot of sense to some of you, but even though college was full of heartbreak arguments, and dissapointment, it was also full of excitment, new experiences, and new friends. I miss not having bills to pay..lol... I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one. Oh well, I'll survive, I'm sure I will, I've made it this far already, and it can only go up from here right? Speaking of surviving, I'd like to make it through tomorrow so I should probably go aquaint myself with my pillow once more....

So..... exoctic?

2006-06-22T22:46:00.000-06:00

I figured that would be a good name for this post because of the animals that I have been dealing with. Today was a day for the unexpected, it was pretty cool though....first thing this morning, I got to give injections to tortoises, you would not believe how strong their little legs are, especially when you are trying to inject into the muscle..... they were pretty cool though. It really shows you how creative God is to make a creature so amazing that they can hide all of their vulnerable parts to avoid being injured, but they can still function and move and live..... so maybe you don't think thats an exoctic or really cool, but another thing that I am sure you will love is the owl. I got to help bath an owl this evening, it was found in a barrel of crude oil and looked pretty nasty, but it got cleaned up and tomorrow it will go on a journey to Saskatoon for further treatment and hopefully a smooth recovery. Owl's are amazing creatures, I'm not so sure that many of you have actually been close enough to an owl to see how awesome they really are, but I do have to say that they are really neat. (and for those of you who don't believe that an owls head actually turns 360 degrees, believe it cause it's true) They have the biggest most amazing eyes I have ever seen, and so bright. Their one eyelid is thick and clear and watching them blink is pretty neat. The only time that he closed his eyes the whole time we were washing him was when we got near his beak, he closed his eyes and tried to bite us....lol.... good thing he didn't bite hard, cause that would have probably taken a finger off.... anyways, i'll attempt to put some pictures on here eventually of the owl, as soon as I figure out how to put pictures on the website...lol... that may take a while. It's been pretty steady at work, but so far it's been a good thing, it keeps me on my toes and alert, even though I'm starting to get a little burned out, it'll be good after I get a couple days when I'm not working and not studying or trying to accomplish something. I'm just going to take a weekend (eventually) and hang out and relax, and do nothing other then that, and I know that I will probably have to work harder at doing nothing then I would have to to do something, because it's been so long since I haven't had to do anything, but I will do it, I'm determined....lol..or exhausted, I haven't decided yet. One thing that I have decided is that my nice little apartment isn't so ideal at the moment, I think I'm just frusterated cause my upstairs neighbours decided to have a party last night and keep me up until all hours of the morning then I had to get up early for work...grrr...oh well, speaking of getting up, tomorrow is going to come sooner then I am prepared for so I should proably call it a night. Have a good one all!!

So totally done studying...

2006-06-17T22:30:00.000-06:00

Hey faithful readers!! I know that it's been a while, but I have been super busy studying for my national exam, which by the way, I wrote on Friday and now I am finished. I don't get my results back until late August or early September but for the time being I am not even going to think about it. I am officially done studying!! It's exciting, although I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to do now, I'll actually have spare time... ha ha ha....I'm sure that I'll find something to do.... At the moment I'm about ready for a nap though.... it's been a rough couple of months without proper sleep due to stress and anxiety, now that I don't have to stress of the exam I am super tired....I think thats because the adrenalin is gone... lol... it'll come back when I get back to work on Monday morning, I'm sure of it.... anyways, thats all for now, I'll update again soon... for now, my pillow is calling my name!! Night all!!

Very short update...

2006-06-10T23:23:00.000-06:00

Hey all, hopefully this week has treated you well. I am doing pretty good, but unfortunatly this has to be a short update cause my finger hurts a tremendous amount.... I got a paper cut under my finger nail today, and every time I touch something it hurts and starts bleeding again. I just thought I would update this quickly to let you know that I am still surviving! Catch ya later! Have a good one all!!

With a song in my heart and a tear in my eye...

2006-06-04T21:13:00.000-06:00

I bid farewell to my classmates, instructors and support staff when I graduated on Saturday morning. It was exciting, slightly scary, but mostly really great. I got to see quite a few of my friends again, which was awesome, but saying goodbye again, was a little tough. Now I feel a sense of completion, which I probably should considering I am done. Now all I have to do is get through my national exam, which I'm sure that I can do, because of the support that I get from all of you guys. I have to say thanks to all of you. I have been hearing for the past couple weeks now how proud you all of are me, but I want to tell you how proud I am of you.... I really couldn't have done it without the support and love that all of you have shown me, so thank you so much, and I appreciate your continued prayers..... My first couple weeks of work have been awesome so far. They are all great to me, and make me feel so welcome... I love it there.....I'm afraid I'm going to make this a short update, cause I am exhausted and I have to be up super early tomorrow.... so have a good night faithful readers, and I'll update again soon!

So I survived day one

2006-05-23T22:11:00.000-06:00

Yay for me!! I actually had a really great day, minus that fact that I was so totally nervous that I didn't sleep well last night and was super tired all day. Other then those two little things, my first day in Swift Current was a total success, I even found a field for Dash to run in, well sort of a field, it worked, so I let her run. lol, I do miss being at home, although as far as working at the clinic goes, it feels a lot like I am at home. They all made me feel welcome as soon as I walked in the door, and they had no problems with me asking questions, and they explained everything to me and said that they would do it again tomorrow, I'm really excited. I think that this job will really work out for me, and that makes me super happy, now all I have to do is find a place with a yard, or some way of letting Dash out into this yard and I'll be good to go. Tomorrow should be a pretty routine day, but Thursday apparenly Rodney and I are out semen testing all day, so Dash is going to stay with Karen for the day. I think that'll be good. Wow, I just heard thunder. I usually love thunder, but I'm kinda hoping that it won't keep up all night, or tonight will be another one of those totally not sleeping..... I'm sure it'll be great though. I can't wait until this weekend, I don't work, so I can finish organizing stuff in my house and have the time to settle that I was supposed to have before they asked me to start work early....lol....not that I minded starting early, it gave me much less time to work myself up more than I already did, and really there was nothing to be worked up about, cause today went fine. My back hurts a bit though, I think it's cause I was so stressed and tense, but hopefully it will be better by tomorrow.....grr...the people upstairs are playing music really loudly and it's not evena good song...lol... I could go tell them to shut it off, but I'm pretty sure that it would only cause problems, and I really don't want to do that. Anyways, I really shoul try and get a little sleep, or at least pretend to be sleeping....That's all for now folks, *hugzz*

So much for having a plan...

2006-05-20T16:10:00.000-06:00

So we got everything moved into the apartment, most things are unpacked, but not much is organized as of yet. I thought for sure I could go up the week before I start work and get settled, but I got a call from the clinic and they want me to start on the 23rd instead of the 29th, so it looks like I'll be moving up there and going to work right away. Not that it's a problem, it doesn't give me a lot of time to get used to things, but it also doesn't give me any time to be scared, which will be good, cause I am starting to get a little nervous, but I trust that everything will be ok. I've been pretty busy lately, so it feels a little strange to actually sit down and not have to worry about doing something or going somewhere, or being on a schedual..... it's nice for now, I'll be happy to get back to a structured schedual though.....I don't really have much of an interesting update for you as of yet, but I assure you that I will update you after my first day of work. I'm out for now! Have a good long weekend!! Oh and NJ, of course there is room for you, come visit sometime!!

It's "cozy" and has "character"

2006-05-06T22:25:00.000-06:00

What do you think of when hearing that statement about a house? Cramped and falling apart right? Thats what I thought at first, but we found a suite today that would let me keep my dog, so I decided to take it, it's small, quite small actually, it has a living room, bathroom smll bedroom and small kitchen. It's nice though, and I'm sure that it will grow on me, the more I think about it the more it appeals to me already. So today started out with looking at the most beautilful mobile home that I have ever seen, it was amazing and had a huge fenced in yard that would be perfect for Dash, but it was quite a lot out of my price range, so that idea kinda fell through, so then I was frusterated and we called a few places and the answer at all of them was the same, absolutly no pets, don't even think about bringing a pet in here, are you nuts, you can't' have a pet in here, so I had almost given up on the idea of actually finding a place to live and the idea of living in my car was becoming more and more appealing when I saw one more add for a one bedroom suite. So we called, and went and looked, and I asked about pets and he said that Dash was welcome, as long as I was willing to take responsability for any damages or mess that might incure because of her. Needless to say, as of the 15th, this will be my new temporary home. I don't see it being a long term home, cause it is pretty small, but it will due for now, I mean it's all I need right now. It was a very humbling experience going from a huge trailer with lots of space to a small suite, but it was a much needed experience. Maybe I should tell you a little about this place. It's a old house that has been renovated and made into four seperate suites. There is free shared laundry in the basement, but not much else. The living room is hardwood, and it is actually a very nice house. I think after I actually move in there and give it the proper accents it will feel like home. I'm very excited that I get to keep Dash with me though, that was something that was very important to me, and also very difficult to do with my price limit. This is just another ilustration that God will provide what you need, not necessairly what you thought you wanted, but what you absolutly need, which in my case what a place for me and Dash to get settled until we can afford something more ideal. This isn't really a bring people home apartment, there just isn't a lot of room, however if you don't mind crowding in with me and my pooch, you are more than welcome to come and visit. Both of us would love the company (and maybe you can help me add a homey touch to it) I'll be going up to get my keys and clean on the 15th, and I'm not 100% sure when I'm moving in, but it will probably be shortly after that because I start work on the 29th. I'm excited, a little nervous, but pretty much know that this is where I need to be at this point in my life. I think what scares me the most is the fact that I'm not technically a tech until after I write my VTNE, and even though I know that I know my stuff, I'm still a little nervous that I might not know everything, but they won't expect me to know everything, there are some things that you don't learn until after you have been out in practice for a few year...... anyways, enough babble, I'm pretty tired and I have a lot of packing and such things as that to do, so I think I'm going to call it a night and start early tomorrow. Night all, thanks for all your prayers, and I hope that you will continue to pray for me as I move onward with this new path in my life. God Bless. I love ya all!!

Excitement, anticipation, and a hint of nervousness

2006-05-05T20:35:00.000-06:00

Hey all, I just wanted to let ya'll know that I am officially done my practicum and moving on to a new portion of my life, which is making me slightly nervous at the moment, but I have complete faith that God will provide. I have a possible living establishment lined up.....I'll find out tomorrow if it's something that I will persue further, but I'm kinda really hoping that it will work out. I really don't want to leave Dash at home. I'm already moving out to a place where I don't know anyone, if I have to leave her to, I don't think that I would do so well. I know that if this doesn't work out then God must have something much better planned, but like I said, I'll know more after tomorrow. Today was good, I'm slightly sad to be done, but excited that I'll actually be working somewhere and get paid for it.... how great will that be, other than the fact that most of that will go to the bank for loan payments, but thats ok, cause I have everything I need for the moment, or at least access to everything that I need. Anyways, back to today, the girls took me out tonight for supper....it was really great to be able to sit and relax and just chat with them. They are great supports for me, and I appreciate all that they have done...I'm not 100% sure what I will be doing for the next couple weeks before I move, but I imagine that I'll probably end up back there at some point in time, even if it is just for a visit, I don't actually have to do anything, although if they are run off their feet I probably will. Anyways, I'm out for now, I'm hoping to get a few things done before I leave in the morning and we are meeting the real estate people quite early. Have a good one all.... I'll talk to ya soon!!

On the road again....

2006-05-01T18:06:00.000-06:00

Hey all, no I'm not off yet, but with this being the final week of my practicum, I was getting slightly worried about the fact that I had no job lined up yet. That was until I got a call from Swift Current today. They said that they would love to have me, and I start on the 29th (woo hoo, doin the happy dance..lol) I'm so excited, slightly nervous, but I know that God has worked this out for me, he will help me out tremendously in my new journey. As scared as I am I am also very excited. This means a totally new road in life, I've never lived completely on my own before, I've lived in dorms and had my roomies, but now I'm starting out fresh. I don't really know anyone and I could look at that as a horrible thing, but instead I'm seeing an opportunity to get to know new people, and make new friends, which scares me, but I know it will be good. I appreciate all your prayers and I hope that you will continue to pray for me as I start off on this new path in my life. I guess thats it for this update I have to run, I have some things that I have to do, and people that I have to call. Catch ya'll on the flip side. Loads of love!!!

A story about a train.....

2006-04-23T21:27:00.000-06:00

Ok, before you seriously get into reading this entry, grab some tissues, cause chances are it's gonna make you cry, or tear up, just thought I'd prepare you. I didn't write the following story, actually I just came across it tonight while I was surfing the net and it hit me really hard, so I thought that I would put it on here. I'll explain why after you read the story.....
His Only Son
There was once a big turntable bridge which spanned a large river. During most of the day, the bridge sat with the length running up and down the river parallel with the banks allowing ships to pass freely on both sides of the bridge. But, at certain times of the day, a certain train would come along and the bridge would be turned sideways across the river allowing the train to cross. A switchman sat in a small shack on one side of the river where he operated the controls to turn the bridge and lock it into place when the train crossed. One evening when the switchman was waiting for the last train of the day to come, he looked off into the distance through the dimming twilight and caught sight of the train's light. He stepped to the controls and waited until the train was at a prescribed distance when he was to turn the bridge. He turned the bridge into position, but to his horror, he found that the locking control didn't work. If the bridge was not locked securely into position, it would wobble back and forth and the ends when the train came to it, causing the train to jump the track and go crashing into the river. This would be a passenger train with many people aboard. He left the shack with the bridge turned across the river and hurried to the other side of the river where there was a lever which he could use to operate the lock manually. He could hear the rumble of the train now and leaned back-ward to apply his weight to it, locking the bridge. Many lives depended upon this man's strength. Then, coming across the bridge from the other direction, he heard a sound that made his blood run cold. "Daddy, where are you?" His four-year-old son was crossing the bridge to look for him. His first instinct was to cry out to the child, "Run! Run!" But the train was too close. The tiny feet would never make it across the bridge in time. The man almost left the lever to run and snatch up his son and carry him to safety, but he realized he could not get back to the lever in time. Either the people on the train or his son must die. He took just a moment to make his decision. The train sped swiftly and safely on its way and no one on board was even aware of the tiny, broken body thrown mercilessly into the river by the rushing train. Nor were they aware of the pitiful figure of a sobbing man still clinging tightly to the locking lever long after the train had passed. They didn't see him walking home more slowly than he had ever walked to tell his wife how he had sacrificed their son. Now, if you can comprehend the emotions which went through this man's heart, you can begin to understand the feelings of our Heavenly Father when He sacrificed His Son to bridge the gap between us and eternal life. Can there be any wonder that He caused the earth to tremble and the skies to darken when His Son died? And how does it feel when we speed along life without giving a thought to what was done for us through Jesus Christ? When was the last time you thanked Him for the sacrifice of His Son?
Now the reason why that hit me so hard, is I was just thinking earlier today about how easy it is to forget the sacrafice that was given for us, so that we might live eternally. I realize how easy it is to become grumbly about the bad things and just brush off the good things. I think everyone is guilty of it. One example in my life right now would be my job hunt. I haven't found a job yet, and I'm starting to get a little anxious, but when I sit down and think about it, I really shouldn't grumble because I don't have a job, cause I finished school, I have time to find a job, it's not like my parents are kicking me out, although I'm sure that they will support me when I leave too..... I catch myself focusing more on the fact that I don't know where I will be in a month or too, when really I should be focusing on the fact that I have been blessed immensly and that I am a highly favored princess in the kingdom of God..... I think too much of the time I spend searching for answers instead of just sitting down and having a cup of tea with God....sitting in silence, basking in his love, listening to his voice......so you might wonder why I am telling you this, and the truth is I'm not really sure, but I believe that we all need to sit down and spend some time with our Heavenly Father, I mean come on now, life is hectic, crazy busy and we don't have a lot of *free time* but God doesn't mind. He doesn't mind if you talk to him while you are cleaning up at work, he doesn't mind if you take him to your coffee room for lunch, and he really doesn't mind hanging out with you on the drive to work. Just because there isn't physical time on our schedual of things to do, doesn't mean that there isn't time to spend with God. He doesn't mind being double booked and he would be more than happy to be at the soccer game with you....take him everywhere, show him off...... he deserves it..... he made a huge sacrifice for you, what are you willing to do for him?

Zzzzzz....

2006-04-11T22:03:00.000-06:00

Hey all! I know that it's been a long time since I updated, but I've started my practicum now, and between that and trying to find a permanent job, I haven't had time to breathe let alone update my blog. I know that is now excuse, and I would have updated last night, but that would have meant that I couldn't go out for coffee with Norma, and I think that I needed that more than I needed to update. So I haven't really talked to many people from school since I left, I've talked to a couple of them, but once again, busy busy busy.... anyways, I just thought that I would enter a quick update. I'm having a breakdown, absolutly stressed out and not functioning, well actually, I was..... I'm doing a lot better now though..... I've just been really stressed about finding a job, and I guess I kinda forgot that God can totally handle it. Now that I have that thought back in my head, I am not freaking out as much. I'm still trying to figure out where I am going to be though, I'd kinda like to know so that I can start looking for a place to live. But once again, I'm not totally stressed cause I know that God will totally provide whatever I need (not necessarily what I want but definantly what I need). Speaking of needs...my body is telling me that I need sleep, and for once, my cell isnt ringing gently reminding me that I need to be somewhere.....So for now, I shall call it a night, I promise you another update as soon as I find out about jobs, if not sooner... Sweet dreams faithful readers!

Home on the range...

2006-03-26T01:13:00.000-06:00

Hey all! Just thought that I would let you all know that I made it home safely. I'm happy in a sense to be home, but on the other hand, I already miss my friends from up in Vermilion. Thursday was my last exam and some of our class went out to celebrate that night, then I came home Friday. It felt kinda good to see the Kindersley sign, but I ended up working about 20 mins after I got into town....not that it's a problem, I better get used to it now. So the last post that I made on here I was in tears, and I wish that I could say that it has all changed, but unfortunatly I can't. I am still teary, although not for the same reasons. I have about a million emotions running through my head at any given moment of the day and it's driving me nuts!! I think most of it is just due to the fact that I want to have a home, like a permanent one where I can say ya I have a job and a home. I want to be established somewhere. I don't want to have to move again, but I know that I will have to. It jsut hurt saying goodbye to everyone. I mean come on, you spend two years of your life working as a close team with these people, then all of a sudden you aren't with them anymore, your out on your own, you can't fall back on them...... I know that we all know our stuff, or else we wouldn't be out here on out practicum, but it was familiar, ya know.... everything was, well until things started to change....but I suppose that change isn't always a bad thing......ok, I'm tired, I'm rambling and I think that I might start crying if I think any more tonight, so I believe that I shall leave it here......and I'll pick up where I left off some other night after I have had a substantial amount of sleep....lol....night all.....

Let the rain fall....

2006-03-13T01:25:00.000-06:00

So I sit here tonight in tears as I update this....not because I am sad, but because I am uncertain..... in 11 short days, I will be leaving the home that I now have up here, moving away from friends that I have grown close too over the past two years, and looking back fondly on the memories that we have made together, wishing that I could still be with them making more memories....e-mails just aren't the same.....I'm going to miss everyone up here, even the people that I didn't really get along with the greatest still hold a certain place in my heart, and as we all branch off on our new journeys in life, I realize that for the first time in a long time, I don't have a plan. I've applied at a few places, and I know where I will be for the next 8 weeks, but after that, I'm not certain. One thing I am certain of is that without a doubt God will take me where he needs me to be, and maybe thats what scares me so much.....not the fact that he will take me there, but the fact that I may have to step out of another comfort zone that I have created for myself. When I came to college in September of 04 I was terrified....I didn't want to leave home and all my friends there, but I knew that this was where I was supposed to be, so I stepped out of my comfort zone, made new friends, learned new things, got my heart broken, put the pieces back together and trusted again, I fought, made up, cried, laughed, smiled, shouted, moved and grew in the time that I was here, I made a comfort zone up here, and I am happy right where I am, but I know that I cannot stay here.... and maybe thats why I am crying...or maybe it is the future that I am not in control of that brings tears to my eyes...not that I feel the need to be in control, but at the moment, I feel that my life is slipping out of my grasp, and possibly thats a good thing, I need to learn to trust more in God, and to let him handle my life....He knows what he is doing, he got me this far and I know that he can take me farther, I just have to trust in him. I'm sorry if it sounds like I am being preachy at the moment, you don't have to read this if you feel that way, but at the moment, I think that I need to be reminded of this just as much as the next person. God is in total control, he will take me to where I need to be.....so why am I still so scared.....maybe it's because I will be leaving that familiar... I will have to start fresh and get to know new people, I'll have to learn to trust new people.....not such an easy task.....I suppose once I get on the road to wherever I am going, that it will become easier and I will be filled with excitment and vision, but for now, tears fall from my eyes like silent rain drops......

13 more days!!! AHHHH!

2006-03-10T20:13:00.000-06:00

Hey all, I realize that is has been a while since my last update. Isn't it funny how time just seems to slip right through my fingers...... The break at home was crazy busy, but also good. I made some pretty funky looking pj's and boy are they comfy, then I spent some time tending to Sammy and doing a glucose curve on him... that really tends to take a lot out of a person, just for the simple fact that it's pretty much an all day job. I didn't really touch my books while I was home, even though we started right back into exams when we got back up here. It was worth it though, I'm totally starting to really get burned out from studying so much, but I guess thats what happens when you only have 5 days of classes left. Finals are coming up so quickly, and it's kinda scary. I'm just thinking that in two weeks I'll be done, I'll be out in practice, actually working on peoples animals, but with more knowledge than I had when I was working over the summer. I know how to do a lot more things and I know that I will be expected to do a lot more when I get into the clinic, and I guess part of that scares me. Don't get me wrong, I know that I can do it, I'm just a little nervous about messing up, cause I know how upset I would be if anything happened to Dash at the expense of someone learning. So needless to say I've been a little stressed latly. But in my stress I have been thinking alot about God's plan for my life. I don't really know what it is. I mean I'm pretty confident that I am going in the right direction cause there are a few classes that I am passing only by the grace of God, lol, like hematology for instance. It's not that I'm not trying, it's just really hard to put things into words in that class. I'm rocking in the lab portion of it though, so I'm pretty sure that I will be ok. I've been praying lately about jobs too, cause I could possibly get one in Kindersley, but I really don't think that is going to happen, as they are currently full staffed and can't really afford to hire another full time tech, and with student loans to pay off, I can't afford a part time job..... so I applied for a job at the vet clinic in Rimbey AB, the ad that they posted in our job binder at the school just kinda jumped out and said pick me when I was flipping through there, so I though, hey why not, if it's where God wants me then I'll be there, if not I guess I'll just have to keep looking until I find where I am supposed to be. Surprisingly I'm not freaking out though... I mean I am definantly nervous, but not to the point that I'm making myself sick about this. I've been getting slightly better in the last little while about giving things over to God and not stressing about them. I am by no means perfect and there are still some things that I grasp tightly in my clutches, but eventually I will let those things go as well, and probably at that point in time get rid of the tension headaches that I have been having.....Mom and Dad are coming to get Dash on monday, and although it will be nice to have the extra time to do other things, Im gonna miss her like crazy...she's a bundle of energy when I have absolutly none, and she keeps me on my toes. I love having her around, but we start writing some finals on tuesday, so it'll be nice to be able to study and not have to worry about her getting out to run. I really can't believe that I'm almost done though... it seems like just yesterday I was so scared about coming to college and moving away from home. I thought that I would never make any friends, and now I look at the bunch that I have made and I am very grateful. Even my roomies, although we have our differences, I have grown closer to all of them and I really hope that we can stay in contact after I leave. Actually I hope that all my friends will keep in contact after we all part ways, cause I'm gonna miss them tonnes!!! Wow, it feels weird to not be studying at the moment, but I told myself I wasn't doing anything school related tonight. I need a break or I really won't make it through the last days of classes.....lol...that wouldn't be good, throw away a whole year just cause I was burned out. I totally won't do that.....Wow am I ever tired though...lol....I wonder how many times I can say that in one day, cause I'm pretty sure that I've already said it a million times today..... well maybe a million and a little bit..... lol.... I took my guitar to school today and played for a couple of the teachers, it was a lot of fun and I'll have to do it again sometime, it's amazing how much stress relief I get from just sitting there picking away at some random notes and making songs out of it.....speaking of making songs, i'm writing a song for my teachers for the end of the year, and hopefully i will be able to finish it by then.... i'm not 100% sure as to what it's going to be like, but i'm sure that I will figure it out....wow i'm kinda all over the place with this blog....but I guess that you guys should be used to that by now, especially in this past little while cause my mind has been flitting around to about a million different places. I'm ok with that though, as long as I can keep my thought straight and not convince myself that things are ok when they really aren't I'm sure that I will survive.... *at first I was afraid I was petrified, kept thinkin I could never live without you by my side..but then I spent so many nights...* lol.,..sorry, I couldn't resist....now I have that song stuck in my head and I will prolly be singing it for th rest of the night, which may not be a bad thing, but then I really won't get any sleep, which at this point in time would be a bonus, I mean getting the sleep.... ok I think I'm done, well at least for the time being, I'm going to go out and feed Dash and maybe pick up a movie or something then come back and most likely crash on the couch. So to all you wonderful people out there, have a great night, and well to the horrible people out there, you have a great night too.... catch ya on the flip side!

Show me the way to go home....

2006-02-26T00:20:00.000-06:00

Hey all, just a quick update! All of my studying payed off and I passed all of my exams this past week, actually with some pretty good marks. I'm throughly impressed. Yay!! Now I just want to go home. It's not that I don't want to be here, I just want a break and since it's reading week break I want to go home. lol, I have to wait until after my doc appointment on Monday, and then I can most likely go home. I've been keeping myself busy though, so the time should fly by, then I'll be home before I know it, and when I get home I'll probably want to be back up here, that just seems to be the way that it works. I helped Bronwynn with Alexis' birthday party today. We went sledding, which was a lot of fun, except for now i'm in pain....lol.....two of the kids got hurt, nothing major though, just bumps and bruises. Then I hung out with Bronwynn pretty much most of the night, we watched a movie and now I am back at the house and really considering just going to bed. It's not that I'm tired, there just isn't any one around and I'm kinda bored. I suppose that I should get used to it though.....lol...hopefully when I get home it won't be boring, I'll find soemthing to do, even if it is just making pj's. I'm thinking maybe tonight I'll just put a movie in.... I don't know what movie though......lol, I really hate being bored with nothing to do. If anyone was around I'd suggest a card game, but that doesn't seem to be an option at the moment, since I don't really like playing solitaire. brrr...I'm cold, maybe I'll just cuddle up on the couch in my blanket and watch tv for a bit.....I'll catch ya all later. Have a great night!!

Long time no blog

2006-02-21T01:30:00.000-06:00

Ok ok ok, stop sending me angry e-mails telling me to update, lol... I'm really truly sorry, and I know all of you are very disappointed that you missed pretty much the whole months TWC sayings, but if you want them I have them plastered all over my walls, honestly, every single one since Jan 1 is up there. E-mail me and I'll let you know. I'm not even going to try to make excuses on why I haven't updated. I've just been generally busy and feeling kinda crap-tacular, but I am updating now, although it might be slightly scattered and random cause it is late and I am tired and I would really like to get to bed. Ok well I'll start from the beginning of the month. I officially became single again ( so to all you cuties out there...oh who am I kidding, I don't have time for a boyfriend anyways) and I'm thinking that it's prolly a good thing that I did. I've been stressing a lot about making time for everything and everyone, and to be completely honest, I don't have time for everything and everyone, so it makes it hard to be commited to someone when you feel guilty about spending time with them that you should be doing something else in. Don't get me wrong, I absolutly loved spending time with him, Im just saying at this point in time, the single life is pretty apealing. After that it's been a pretty un eventful month, writing exams, surprise surprise, really I think thats all we ever do around here any more is write exams. Oh and do surgeries, those are always fun. We have baby sheep, they are awfully cute. And I only have 32 days before I move home for my practicum. Crazy!! I'm super nervous, pretty excited, and fairly stressed, but I'm sure that I will be fine and get over it. lol. God has really been working on keeping me calm. This past weekend I went to Canadian Idol audtions with Norma, Reba, and Amanda. It was a blast. None of us made it past the first round, but the judge told me that I had a great voice and I had potential, but I wasn't confident enough. So I will practice all year, and try again next year. lol, not that I really want to be canadian idol, but it was so much fun to go and spend a weekend with the girls and do something other than look at boring text books and research for papers that your not even really that interested in. Let me rephrase that, it was interesting when I started, now that I am almost done, I'm bored with it, or frusterated, or I really don't know, I'm just almost done and very happy. Pretty much that brings me to this point in my life where I am making tonnes of decisions (ie, do I keep Dash up here until exams, or do I take her home when I go for spring break?) and studying lots, and writing exams all the time. Speaking of writing all the time, I have a nutrition midterm tomorrow, and my eyes are getting really heavy, so I believe that I will leave it at that. And I'm not going to say that I will write again tomorrow, cause the honest truth is I prolly am not going to have time to do that. Oh well. I suppose that I will talk to you guys later. Luv ya all!!!! Have a good week!

I can practically taste the weekend

2006-01-21T00:45:00.000-06:00

I suppose thats a good thing, being it's Friday night and all....lol....well today went a lot better than yesterday did, as far as stress factor goes anyways. I'm still pretty tired tonight though, and i'm really hoping that it will pass soon. I'm getting really sick of being tired all the time. Oh well, take what you can get right? Things haven't been too terribly bad up here, very stressful but I've been managing to get through it, and I want to thank all of you guys for your prayers. It's been greatly appreciated and very helpful. I'm thinking I'm off to bed soon though, it'll be an early morning tomorrow, I have a surgery dog to walk first thing then maybe some laundry to do. lol. Catch ya'll later.

Problems are opportunities in disguise

2006-01-20T00:29:00.000-06:00

Ok, so I do have a problem, and it seems to be a time issue to update this blog. lol, terribly sorry faithful readers that i have fallen behind, but I will bring you up to date and hopefully maybe keep you up to date from now on. hmm...I believe my last entry was on the 11th, so I will start from the 12th. Jan 12- Isn't it about time for a chocolate break Jan 13- Never underestimate the power of your cuteness Jan 14/15-Gimme gimme gimme Jan 16-I think therefore I am overqualified to work here Jan 17- Wanna see what I did to the couch. Jan 18- Remember, pet son't squeeze. And then today!! I'm so glad I got those up to date, now bringing you up to date on life situations, that will have to wait until a later date, as I am very tired and have class first thing in the morning, I do promise to update tomorrow night though, as far as I know there isn't anything going on, I can relax, well for a few milliseconds anyways. lol, catch ya'll on the flip side.

Start each day with a good stretch

2006-01-12T00:27:00.000-06:00

that way you are ready to run when your late for class. lol. So far that hasn't really happened. I mean I've cut it close a couple times, I seem to value what time I do get in the shield of my fuzzy blanket, but I've never really been late for class. Tomorrow however, may be an exception if I don't get to bed. I haven't really been sleeping the greatest in the last little while, so I'm gonna try and hit the sack while I'm actually tired. lol.. have a good one and i'll catch ya'll in the morning.

Caution: I don't handle surprises well

2006-01-10T21:36:00.000-06:00

It's funny cause it's a really cute picture of a skunk. lol. I can't believe the creative minds that must come up with some of this stuff. Anyways, today was an ok day. Other than the fact that I was covered in blood by 10:30 am, things went pretty well today. Don't worry, it wasn't my blood, lol, I had a blood collection lab and I occluded the vein very well and it spirted out the needle before I got the syringe attached to it. No one got hurt, so it was all good. The rest of the day was pretty boring. Mostly lecture, and when you are tired and learning about homeostasis, it's almost impossible to stay awake. Somehow I managed. Tonight I picked up the pizza for the purina meeting, but I didn't stay for the meeting. Dash would have been a little too distracting, and I really didn't want to be around people anyways, so we took off and walked. I've had so much on my mind in the past couple days that I haven't really been sleeping well. Hopefully it will pass soon and I can get a decent rest. I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens. I suppose that I should get going though, I still ahve my devotions to do, then I think it's off to bed. Man oh man, maybe i'll actually get an early night in. lol. Have a good one all.

Today is the tomorrow I was trying not to think about yesterday...

2006-01-10T01:04:00.000-06:00

lol, for the most part that wasn't true. Other than the fact that I was dead tired all day, it was a pretty alright day, and even though Heather embarassed me to no end, things seem to be working out for the time being. I'm going to have to explain later though, i'm off to bed. Nighty nighty all!!

Eat. Sleep. Play. Repeat. (Dogs have the right idea)

2006-01-08T02:24:00.000-06:00

lol, I that is really the cutest saying....so saturday and sunday are the same saying on my calendar, which worked out actually not to bad, cause I didn't really have a lot of time to update for two days. Today was a pretty busy day. In the morning I went in to Lloyd with Nicole to see her off and bid her farewell. It sucked to have to say good bye to her but I know that we will keep in touch and that we will stay friends, no matter what!! Then after I said bye to her, it was off to pick up a few things, then I came back here to get ready for my date. Grant picked me up about 5:30 and we went into Lloyd once more for supper and a movie. We had supper at Kelsey's and it was great, then we drove around for a bit until it was time for the movie to start. I had a really great chat with him, then we went and saw *fun with dick and jane* it was a cute movie, pretty funny in some places....after that it was off to timmy ho ho's for a wonderful ending to an amazing evening. I really had a great time, and even though today started off sad, I am going to bed on very happy camper. Before I do that though, I must do my devotions, so I believe that this shall be my update for today. I will update again tomorrow, cause i'm excited to see what the calendar has to say about it....lol...anyways faithful readers, i wish you sweet dreams and many happy days to come. Have a good one!!

You can't reach your dreams lying down!

2006-01-06T22:56:00.000-06:00

What a great saying. This calendar is really proving to be something special. It means a lot to me to hear that because I have been workign my butt off for my grades, well before Christmas, I'm just starting to get back into the swing of things up here again. I'm gonna need to start studying hardcore again here pretty quick though. We have a lot of exams coming up, and I really can't not study for them, and to top it all off, I have a term paper for large animal health to do. I'm kinda excited about that one though, because I know that I can do a really good job on it..... I'm kinda excited for tomorrow but a little sad all in the same sense. Nicole is moving home tomorrow, so i'm sad that I won't be able to see her all the time any more, but i'm excited because Grant is taking me out for dinner and a movie tomorrow. It's pretty exciting.....lol.... I know I'm kinda all over the place tonight, but I'm trying to get a little written before i head off to bed. I'm thinking tonight is going to be an early night, for the simple fact that I am truly exhausted, and I would like to recoup this weekend, so that I can start fresh on Monday when we get surgery animals in. So I suppose that this is it, and I will bid you farewell, goodnight, morning, afternoon or whatever time of day it may be that you read this. Have a good one eh?

I'll send you a postcard from Nuts, cause that's where I'm going

2006-01-06T01:37:00.000-06:00

So that was the saying on todays (Jan 5) page on the calendar and it seemed to fit quite well. I'm afraid I'm not very good at keeping this up to date though, I missed yesterdays entry. It was Hold on tight, I have a feeling this is going to be your year. An excellent saying I must point out....lol....and even though I'm horrible at keeping this up to date at least I am amkign an effort. I had every intention last night of having a nice relaxing evening at home, updating this, maybe even reading a book, but instead I ended up going over to Grant's sisters house with him and playing cards. I'm really glad I did though. I had a really amazing great time and his sister and her husband are really great people. They taught me how to play poker and I won....lol...not like we were playing for money, but it was certainly beginners luck..... Things have been going alright up here... school is starting to get back into full swing and we already have four midterms on our schedual... slightly shocking considering we only started classes again on Tuesday of this week. Oh well. I suppose that I should be going now, even though I realize as I post this that I am on the wrong day again, so I shall leave it at that and tell you today's one later on in the day.....lol....ok, now I'm even confusing myself. Catch ya'll later.

The sooner you break your resolutions, the sooner you can have fun again!

2006-01-03T17:07:00.000-06:00

lol, I got a really cool Twisted Whiskers calender from Norma Jean for Christmas, and I told her that I was going to post on here to tell her what each day was, so this is my first one, well technically thats wrong, because today is the third, but I will tell you on the second it said--Smile, it keeps your face occupied, and the first was--Always put your best paw forward. Now that I'm somewhat caught up...lol...Christmas was pretty good, I kept really busy which wasn't the best thing, it wasn't a very relaxing holiday, but it was good to be home for a few days. I'm glad to be back up here though. Class today went really well. We had 20 min lecture this morning and a lab and another lecture again this afternoon. It was a nice way to ease us back into the swing of things. I'm going to leave this short and sweet, but I do intend on writing more tomorrow. As for this point in time, I would like to sit down and relax for a bit before I get organizing and figuring out this new schedual. Hope ya'll had a great new year, and I look forward to hearing from you so you can tell me what you did!!

Ok, so I lied

2005-12-26T18:49:00.000-06:00

I know I said that I would update a couple days ago, but once again time got away from me and I didn't get around to doing it. Terribly sorry to my faithful readers. I had a good Christmas. It felt good to be home, but now that all the busy parts are over, I'm ready to head back up to Vermilion. I want to get started back to school, and some sort of a rountine. I know it might sound insane, but I don't even want to wait until New Years is over, I just want to go now. lol. It would be nice to have a break though, but that doesn't even seem a possiblility around here. It seems every time I come home I leave more stressed than when I arrived, and coming off a week of exams thats very sad! Oh well, it should get better as time goes on, hopefully, but even if it doesn't I know that God is here with me every step of the way and He can help me get through whatever life pitches next. I know that this is a short update, and I'm not going to promise that I will update again tomorrow because I probably won't, and that way if I do, you can be shocked!! lol. I guess this is it for now, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all of you!!

It's about time for an update

2005-12-23T02:43:00.000-06:00

Hey all, I know that I have really not been doing so great keeping this updated lately, but there has been so much happening, and then into exams and now I'm home for the holidays. There is so much to update that I possibly couldn't do it justice in one short blog. The main reason for that being that it is 2:45 am at the present time and I am pretty tired. i'm not really sleeping though, I have a lot on my mind, most of it is good things, and happy thoughts, but some of it is ugh, shut up thoughts. lol. Sorry. I might be kinda rambly at the moment, but I assure you that I have not lost my marbles, its simply because it is so late, or so early, depending on if your coffee cup is half empty or half full. lol, Ok, now down to the annoying part. I know that I always say that I will update later, but this time I really mean it. I couldn't possibly say everything that I have to say and still make it into bed before I have to roll right out again, so I have some time tomorrow that I will use specifically to update this thing. I just wanted to write a quick note for all those out there who read and are wondering if maybe I vanished. lol. Talk to y'all soon.

9 more days....

2005-12-13T01:46:00.000-06:00

I can hardly believe that it is only nine more days until my last exam of sememster one. Time has literally flown by around here, it's been kinda crazy. Speaking of time flying by, this is going to have to be a short entry, exams are rapidly up on us up here, so classes are getting intense and long. I just thought I would update quickly to let you all know that I m still around, and I am feeling better, aside from the fact that I have managed to capture another cold. We had a Christmas party on the weekend, so I will have to write again tomorrow, before 1:00am and tell you all about it. But for now, I say goodnight to all. I miss you guys back home, and I'll see ya soon!!

To be on the edge of breaking down when no one is there to save you

2005-11-30T00:00:00.000-06:00

I can't even imagine what that would feel like. I mean there have been time in my life that I have felt I was on the edge, or walking fairly close to it, but there have always been friends there to grab me before I fall. So you may be wondering what brings me to think about this. One of my best friends called me tonight and told me that her step-dad commited suicide. Now hearing that from the town I grew up in isn't really that big of a shocker to me. There are lost of people around there who are depressed to the point of being suicidal, it's just been in the past couple years that it's been more and more people that I know. It makes me wonder what made it so bad that they couldn't live any more. It's like that song *how do you get so lonley, how does it hurt so bad, to make you make the call, that having no life at all, is better than the life that you had* I wish that I could come up with an answer for that, but so far the only thing that I can think about is the fact that they must be scared.
This also made me think about how blessed I am. I have a great family, although we don't always get along, I know that they love me, and I have an amazing bunch of friends who I know would go to the end of the world with me if they had to, and I have an awesome God who takes care of me. Even now, when I'm sick and tired, I know that I am loved, even more so in the fact that my friends are taking on the roles of family for me to help me out.
Another thing this brought to my mind is why some people get to choose this route, while others have it chosen for them. And I'm not talking about a natural death either. I'm talking about accidents, murders, those sorts of things. It brought back to mind when Katie was killed in that accident. She was only 19, she didn't have the choice, and if she did, I know that she wouldn't have taken her own life. But one thing I hear time and time again, is things happen for a reason, and just because I don't know what that reason was, that doesn't mean that I can be angry about it. Yes I miss her tonnes, but I also know that she is dancing on the clouds with Jesus, where she always wanted to go when she had to leave this world.
As for those who make the choice, I can't honestly say that I know where they end up, I just pray for their families that God would envelope them in his love and that they might find peace in his presence. I think that this is going to have to be all for tonight, I'm still sick and keeping my eyes open at the moment is proving to be very difficult. Feel free to leave your opinion and let me know what you think, and if you are feeling alone and upset, talk to someone you trust, or call a helpline or something. Know that there are people out there who will listen without judging, and if you really don't want to talk to them, then at least give the Big Guy upstairs a chance. There is a tonne of power in prayers. God bless. Night guys!

Sleepless in Vermilion

2005-11-26T01:35:00.000-06:00

Ok, so I am super tired at the moment, surprise surprise, that seems to be a standard thing with me now. I didn't end up at the porcine lab this morning, which made me thankful that it was an optional lab, for the simple reason that I was beat. I had just woken up and I was still very tired. I really hate being sick. As for why I am not sleeping now, I find it quite difficult to sleep sitting up and when I lay down, I find the congestion in my lungs is just a little too much for me to handle. I just wish that there was something that I could do to make it better. I go back to the doc on Wednesday, and hopefully I will get some good news there. So right now I sit on my bed, typing up this blog, holding my teddybear close and wishing that I had someone here to look after me. If there is one time when I get homesick, it's when I am physically sick and emotionally drained. I miss being a little kid when Dad would bring me a cup of orange juice or when Mom would make me soup. Right now I am doing all that for myself, which isn't a bad thing, but I just miss having someone to look after me. I know, I know, I'm a big kid now and should be able to look after myself, and I know that I am very capable of doing just that, I just get mopey when I'm sick, so thats the mood I'm right now. I think I'm going to leave it at that for tonight though, maybe I can update more another day, but I'm going to go make a cup of tea and try to relax at least a little bit before I have to be out the door again in the morning. So have a good night, or a great day, depending on when you are reading this. Ciao!

Four more weeks until Christmas

2005-11-25T00:51:00.000-06:00

Yes I have started the countdown. Not that I want to leave Vermilion, I just want to go home for a bit, relax and get away from the house. Things haven't really been getting a lot better with my housemates. Actually, it only seems to be one, and it seems that the whole house is having issues with this one person. It's not really fun at all. I'm trying though, and God is really working on my attitude towards her. "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and all your soul and all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it; Love your neighbour as yourself" Matthew 22:37-39
That verse has really been sticking out in my head lately. God has called me to love her, even though at times she may not be the nicest person, I am to love her as I love myself. And the more I look at that verse, the more I look at myself and wonder, by saying that I am annoyed with her, then should I not first be annoyed with myself? I am really going to work on that.
It's been a while since my last update, although nothing really truly exciting happened. I've been sick and thats about it. School has been pretty good though, even with being sick I've managed to still attend all of my regular classes and labs, so I haven't fallen behind, although somedays I wonder if I would have maybe been further ahead if I had stayed in bed. lol.
Well I really hate to cut this short, cause it has been a while, but I am tired, and achy, and we have a porcine cesarian first thing in the morning, so bed is sounding like a fantastic idea. I will try and update again soon. Ciao!!

Back from the city!!

2005-11-06T22:56:00.000-06:00

Hey all, SAVT conference was great!!! We got to the city early afternoon and went for a tour of the WCVM and VIDO. They were pretty interesting. I think that it would be cool to go and shadow a vet student for a day, you know, kinda get the first hand tour of what it would be like to be a vet student. After the tours we went to the Radisson to check into our rooms. Then we sat in the lobby for a bit, went out for supper and came back to register for the conference. We got so much cool stuff, they treated us very well, lol. After we were all registered and had our first meeting, we met up with Mel and headed out to Timmy Ho's for some coffee. We got home at a fair time (1am is fair isn't it, lol) then straight to bed to get some much needed sleep before the start of the conference. Saturday (my birthday) our day started early. 8am we were down in the conference rooms eating some breakfast and drinking some really nasty juice, then our sessions started. My first session was Emergency Triage, which was very interesting, followed by K9 aqua therapy, which I also found ver interesting and informative. Then we had lunch. They gave us all the stuff that we needed to make some pretty good taco's. After lunch it was Pain Management session and a session on neurological patient care. After that we scampered off to our rooms to prepare for the banquet. Everyone looked truly stunning and the food was just amazing. Amanda told one of the servers that it was my birthday and she went and got me a piece of cake and a candle and started singing "Happy Birthday" pretty soon most of the hall had joined in. I was pretty embarassed but very happy at the same time. After supper, there was a comedian, she was a riot, I think half the fun was watching some of the other people though, they had the most interesting expressions on their faces, lol. When that was ll over and the laughs were all up, Bronwynn, Amanda, Mark and myself headed over to Whiskey Jacks for some kareoke. It was really fun. Amanda and I sang "I will survive" by Gloria Gaynor. Mark said that we did really well. And they bought me a teddy bear. We went home pretty early. We left for the hotel at about quarter after 12, packed our bags and went to bed. 7am came really early this morning as we loaded the bus for our short trek to the WCVM for our wet labs. I had abstracts first, which wasn't too bad, but not really aplicable to a student, and lab animal handling second, which was pretty interesting. After that we were back on the bus and heading back to school. It seems to take forever to get anywhere on a bus. We got back from the city at about five and I went to see my dog. I think that pretty much brings you up to date on the happenings of my weekend. I had a really great birthday, and I'd just like to say thanks to everyone. You guys are great, and I couldn't honestly ask for better friends. I think I'm going to call it a night though, even though I did have a topic that I was going to blog on, I'm pretty tired and I'm thinking that it's just going to have to wait until next time. lol. I know that it's early to be going to bed, but this weekend kinda drained me. Night all. *hugzz*

Hey all

2005-11-04T02:40:00.000-06:00

This is just a super quick entry to let you all know that I'm still here. It's been a while, and I do have a lot to update, but it won't be until next week sometime. I am leaving for conference in Saskatoon at 8 in the morning, so I'm going to catch some sleep before I go, I just thought I better say something on here, just incase you were wondering where I've been. lol, I'll update ya'll on the happenings at the conference, and everything else that has been going on in my life when I get back. Catch ya on the flip side.

A moment alone...

2005-10-29T21:08:00.000-06:00

So today was good, well for the most part, I got a few things done around here that needed to be done, the most pressing thing being laundry. Other than that I pretty much had the whole house to myself, and it felt GREAT!!! Amanda was still here but she was in her room on the computer, as usual, Sia and Heather went to the horse sale, so I had the place to myself. It felt nice to be able to watch TV without someone coming along and channel surfing in the middle of a show, to be able to chill on the couch and not have to worry about people coming and talking (very loudly I might add) in your ear. As you may have gathered, things around here have been a little stressful lately. I think it comes from spending so much time with these people. Not that I have anything against them as people, so please don't read it that way, but the problem lies in the fact that we are all very very different people, with different views and different thoughts about things. Now on a once a week basis that would be fine, but for the most part (with a couple exceptions) we are together prety much 24/7. I like to go out with my other friends and do my own thing, but when I come home, the same person is always sitting there......grrrr....sometimes I wonder if maybe we should have put a little more thought into moving in with classmates, then I think no...we will get through this, and at the end of it we will be better people because of the struggles that we have come through. For the moment though, I believe that it will still remain difficult. Well I should probably run, I have to finish getting ready for kids church tomorrow and then figure out this time change that's supposed to be happening around here.....Catch y'all later.

I'm better today than I was yesterday, but hopefully not as good as I will be tomorrow....

2005-10-27T00:03:00.000-06:00

Isn't that such a good quote? And it's the truth. This past week has been very trying, but I think I made it out alright. At the moment I'm sitting here, relaxing to some Starfield after a long night of studying. It feels good to just sit. Not have to worry about anything at the moment, just relax, it's been a while since I have felt that I could do that, but God has given me a peace about the exam tomorrow. I know my stuff, I worked hard to get to know that stuff, and I know that God will honor the work that i have put into it. He's been helping me through a tonne of stuff lately, and everytime I get through something I am reminded just how awesome He really is. I'm afraid this won't be a long blog as I am pretty tired and should get to bed, I will just leave you with one thought. Sit and soak it up. Everything that God gives you, the trials and the triumphs are all gifts to help you on your journey through life. Be Blessed! Ciao!!

On the edge of breaking down...

2005-10-21T21:37:00.000-06:00

Ok, so maybe that is a little drastic, but this is honestly how I feel tonight. I'm beat, completely, stressed out bogged down and hurting. And in the process of being hurt, I realize that I have hurt other people. It's kinda a vicious circle, when someone gets hurt, they become defensive and snappy toward the people that are there for them. And for that I am truly sorry. I don't have a problem with you guys, and I'm sorry that I haven't stood up for you in the past few days. I am trying, but I am not perfect. Nor can I be perfect, and thats something I have had to nail into my brain lately. I try so hard to impress the people that are most impossible to impress. The only person that I have to prove myself to is God and he already thinks I'm worth it, he doesn't want me to hurt, but he's not going to force me to give it up to him. So that is the point that I am in my life. With that understanding that God would take it all from me, but still hanging on with some hope that if I don't let go it will go back to the way it was before. Then I also think about the fact that I cannot move on with my life while I am clinging to the past. So that brings me to want to let it go, but left with a fear of losing what little I am clinging to. I know that this may not make a lot of sense to some of you, but it doesn't have to..... I think I will leave this here for tonight, and those for those of you who care about me, please don't be worried. I am ok, well maybe not at the moment, but I will be. Have a good night guys.

I wish I was a puppy...

2005-10-20T01:03:00.000-06:00

Everyone loves puppies. They are cute and cuddly and everyone wants one. They are never tossed away cause they aren't pretty enough. I mean people ditch puppies for other reasons(which I could make into a whole other blog cause that really bothers me), but not because of their appearance. So as I sit here tonight, very much not sleeping and thinking about life in general I have come to the conclusion that if I was a puppy I would be very much loved. Ok thats all, and no I'm not going to explain myself at the moment, possible another time, I'm tired and achy, and I'm going to bed, so night all. Love ya!

Just what I needed to hear....

2005-10-16T23:26:00.000-06:00

Hey all, today was a really good day, other than the splitting headache that I have right now. At church this morning, Mark was speaking about healing. And one thing that he said really hit me, especially after last night. Healing is a process that involves taking steps in the right direction. Usually the first step is forgiveness, forgiving others and yourself. I had forgiven Matt, but I guess I hadn't gotten to the point that I Had forgiven myself yet. Well I think I made it there tonight. I'm not saying that it still doesn't hurt, because it's so easy to fall back into the whole woa is me catagory of people who sit around and mope because they got their hearts broken, all I'm saying is I'm going to do something about the hurt. I'm going to get out there and push it out of my life. I can't help others if I can't help myself, and I'm not much use if I can't do anything.
Wow it feels good to get that out. I had a good time at the EDGE tonight too, Heather and I played pool and fooseball then we played a game of cards with Shawn and Denise. I am really glad that I got connected with a place like that. I need to call it a night though, I'll actually be in bed before midnight for a change. thats a great thing cause I have a headache and tomorrow I have a radiology test, which hopefully I am well rested for. Tomorrow is going to be one heck of a day, so if I don't update you'll know why. Talk to ya'll later. Luv ya tonnes, Ciao!

Totally ok, I think

2005-10-16T00:22:00.000-06:00

Tonight was good, well walking with Heather and the dogs was, playing at the park was, seeing Matt, well not so much. It's not that I feel that I still want to be with him, and I've forgiven him for everything, and up to that point I believed that I was truly over him, but seeing him again tonight hit me, and I was a little hurt. Not as bad as the last time, but a little. I want to get to the point where I don't hurt at all. I found a quote tonight...." Watching you walk out of my life doesn't make me bitter or scared about love, but rather makes me realize that if I wanted so much to be with the wrong person, how great it will be when the right onw comes along"
I want to get to that point. I do, and I thought I was at it, but tonight showed me that I'm not quite there yet. I don't feel the need to be with him anymore, and I don't feel like I will die everytime I hear his name, but I'm not to the point of not being scared, if that makes any sense at all. I talked to my buddy Shamus tonight, and she helped me out alot. She reminded me to turn to God, and although I knew that, I needed to be reminded of it once more. I think I'm gonna call it a night here pretty quick though, I didn't get a tonne of sleep last night, which could be the reason why this is hitting me so much harder....Night all, ciao!

The Dance

2005-10-15T01:31:00.000-06:00

Tonight was Jet's 18th, so we he came up here to party. They needed a DD so I went to the bar with them. I was having a good time playing pool and just hanging out with my friends, not to happy about the whole bar scene, but I would have rather been there with them knowing that they were going to get where they were going safely then sitting at home worrying that they aren't safe. Anyways, theses guys from the army base in Wainright were up here playing pool, which was pretty cool, cause everyone was getting along super good, then some country music started to play and the one guy wanted to two-step. I'm an awful dancer, I didn't used to be, but then I stopped doing it and now I can't seem to get my feet straigtened out, but for whatever reason he decided that I would be a good candidate to dance with and Amanda and Matt both pushed me onto the dance floor. Talk about uncomfortable. First of all, he wanted to stand super close, don't get me wrong, it felt great, but thats the problem. I got hurt enough already because something *felt great*. Second he was big in the twirls and dips, twirling isn't that bad, but dipping is a little trickier. You really have to trust your dance partner. Dips are almost an intimate trust with your partner.... I want to dip with the man that I am going to be with for the rest of my life. I don't want to get dipped by just any guy, I want to dance with the man that God has prepared for me. I hope that he is a wonderful dancer, and I want each dance to be as exciting as the last. I don't want to be stepping on each others toes and I want so badly to look into his eyes and know that he loves me. I don't mean tomorrow, I mean whenever God brings us together. I love dancing, and I love dancing with guys, but I can't handle the dissapointment when you look into their eyes as you dance and realize that they don't truly care about you, they are dancing with you because they are inebriated and you look good to them at the time. I want my dance partner to be attracted to me without any assistance, I want to be able to dance with mascara running down my face, puffy eyes, in my pajamas and pink fuzzy slippers and still have my partner look at me as if I am the most beautiful girl on earth. Ok, so I'm pathetic I know, but I'm a girl, and it's late, and emotions are running high. Not to say that this stuff isn't true. I really do want all that, but I'm tired of finding it at the bars. Does that mean I'm going to stop dancing? No probably not, I'm just going to be super careful about who I dance with and what kind of dancing we are doing. I believe this is where I will stop.... not because I have nothing else to say, but I feel if I say anymore I may confuse myself. lol, Have a good night! God Bless, CIAO!!!!

To be completely honest.....

2005-10-13T23:34:00.000-06:00

I don't really feel like updating tonight, but I will because I told you that I would. I don't know whats wrong with me today, I feel like I'm riding a roller coaster. One minute I am so awake and energetic and having a blast with my friends, then bam! the next minute I am feeling weak and shakey and so tired I can barely breathe because that takes too much effort. Hopefully it's a fleeing thing because I have to go into Lloyd tomorrow then out with the boys, it's Jet's 18th and someone needs to make sure that they get home safely. I'm going to try and get some more slee tonight though, and hopefully I am feeling better in the morning. God Bless. Ciao!

Quiet time

2005-10-12T23:50:00.000-06:00

Finally, it's a little quiet around here anyways. I'm not meaning that my house mates are loud, cause to be completely honest with you I haven't been home all that much tonight, I was over at the clinic studying, then I was out with Heather, Matt and the dogs. And then I cam home and read over my notes again, had a hot shower, and here I am. It feels good to just be able to sit, although I feel as if I should review my notes once again, I know that I need to spend some time relaxing before bed, unwinding so that I can actually get some sleep, because I believe that it is just as important to get well rested before and exam as it is to get prepared for it. So I opted out of cranking into study mode and decided to update my blog, log some prayer time, and relax in the love of God. It's amazing really, I always used to be of the mind frame that I had to always be doing something, but now I'm like, I don't have to be doing something all the time. Sometime it's better to just sit. I'm not saying be lazy, all I'm saying is it's easier for God to take care of some things when your not up trying to make things go your way. Which by the way, they won't no matter how hard you try, things are not always going to go the way you want them to go. BE thankful for that, cause half the time if things went the way you wanted them too, you would end up hurt, trust me, I've been there before, that being said, sometimes God lets us have our own way to gently remind us that we don't know what we are doing when we try to completely control our lives. I've had a song on my heart lately, and maybe sometime you can hear it, but not right now, not until I have it in my head and my heart, and maybe on paper, lol, it's been helping me to focus on Gods awesome power though, and just the fact that he can do anything that he wants to do, and he loves us so much that he does tonnes of stuff for us..... ya it's a good song. I tihnk I'm going to stop here for tonight, I feel relaxed and calm and ready to go, but I'll update again tomorrow. Ciao!!!

A very special case indeed....

2005-10-11T23:31:00.000-06:00

hey all, acutally I don't know if it is all, no one ever comments on here, so I'm not sure that people are actually reading this, however, if you do read it your in for a funny story tonight. So things have been, well interesting to say the least. This will be a super short entry tonight cause I'm tired and achy, but I couldn't go without blogging todays happenings, or at least 3am's happenings. So I was all snuggled into my bed, very comfy I might add, dreaming away about some stupid contest or something like that when all of a sudden WHAM! Something hit me right in the face. I just about died, then my nose started throbbing, and my eyes started tearing. Let me paint you a picture. Above my bed I have a shelf that houses my alarm clock, or at least used to. When I have my clock plugged in the cord hangs down beside my bed, not usually a big deal, but early early this morning, I thought it would be a good idea to roll over towards the wall (all while I was sleeping surprise surprise) Not such a good idea, my arm hooked around the cord and thus the pain and throbbing nose. I don't think it's broken, I wouldn't be sitting here typing this if it was broken, but I know that it is bruised and probably cracked in some way. I learned my lesson though, my alarm clock is now safely stowed away from my bed. I have to run though, I'm very tired. Stop laughing. STOP IT. Ok whatever, go ahead and laugh, it is kinda funny when you look back at it. Night all, or no one, I dunno, maybe someone will comment on this one and I will know they are reading it.......

Today I'm Thankful.......

2005-10-09T20:11:00.000-06:00

I thought that would be an appropriate title, considering that it is Thanksgiving weekend and all. I spent some time today thinking about what I am thankful for, and the obvious things such as friends, family, shelter, food, clothing, and such things as that, came to mind right away. Then I started to think a little deeper. I mean ya it's great to be thankful for all those things, but those are the things that I am thankful for every year. Not that it's a bad thing to be thankful for those things, but after a while it just becomes repetition. So I thought, and I drank my apple cider, and I thought some more. I realized that I have so much that I am truly thankful for. One of the main things that I will share with you tonight is I am thankful that I am a child of God. He has rescued me and pulled me out of whatever pit i was headed to, and he holds my hand when I'm scared and he walks me through everything, one step at a time. I'm thankful for the hardships that he has given to me as they have helped me to grow and mature into the young woman of God that I am today, and that which I will become in the future. I am thankful for the prayers that did not get answered the way that I wanted them too. I am not a genius and I do not know what is best for people, God knows what he's doing and I am so thankful that he is patient with me when I choose to do things my own way. I'm thankful for the talents he has given to me. I have written a few songs in the last little while and it feels amazing to be able to do that. I'm thankful for the people in my life, even the ones that I fight with. I am thankful that I get to spend time with children. They are truly amazing, I wish that everyone in this world could have the faith of a small child, they truly could move mountains with their faith. I am thankful that I have been set free by the blood of Christ. Jesus washed away my sins so that I could enter the kingdom of heaven with him. There are so many other things that I am thankful for, and I could probably go on for pages and pages, but I won't because I have other things that I need to do, and I'm sure you do as well. I just wanted to share that, and ask you, what are you thankful for? Honestly think about that question. Look deeper into it, don't just say the standard responses. Love ya guys!!!

Some sensless ramblings.....

2005-10-07T01:17:00.000-06:00

Hey all, I know it's been a while since my last update, but things have been slightly busy around the college then, they took away our phone lines, including internet, and now that I'm home I figured that I could update this. The phone lines should be working again by the time I get back, and I really hope they will be cause even though my new name is apparently Leslie, it was great to actually have a working phone. So I did pretty good on my SAH midterm, however, hemo needs a little more work. I just made totally stupid mistakes, such as not reading the whole question and stressing out about the whole exam. It won't happen again, I won't allow it. Anyways, I don't even really know where to start, not that there has been a tonne of interesting stuff going on, but there has been a tonne of stuff. We got our third and final rabies shot Wednesday, and this one is much worse then the last two. My arm is so swollen and itchy. Grrr... it drives me crazy!!! Hopefully it will go away in a couple days, along with the fatigue and total energy loss. Hmm.... what else, oh ya, I almost hit a freakin deer tonight, I was coming around the curvy roads at Unity and I just got around the corner and the deer ran out into the middle of the road, I missed it thank goodness cause that could have been very bad. I don't even want to think about it....... Lets change the subject. God's been doing a tonne of work in my life lately regarding relationships. He's showing me to trust more, but also more carefully, if that makes any sense at all, and he has sent me a really great group of friends to help me hear his voice and realize what I need to do. I don't really want to get into a long discussion about it at the moment, because I am kinda really tired and I probably should maybe get to bed. I will try and update a little more throughly tomorrow, I just thought that I would let you all know that I am home for the weekend and if you read this and are home too, give me a call and we should do coffee, or lunch or both, whichever works for you. lol, I really need to get some sleep I'm starting to ramble........

Always do what is right. This will surprise some people and astonish the rest.

2005-10-01T00:13:00.000-06:00

So you know that girl that I was talking about in my last blog, the one that is now going to share a hotel room with us at our SAVT conference? Well I was walking to class today and I saw her, and I was so going to spin in the other direction and take a different route to class, but God was pushing me to talk to her, and let her know that she was welcome in our room. I really didn't want to do it, but I did anyways, and now I am so glad that I did. I honestly did not think that this girl was capable of emotions, but today in talking to her I realized that she was hurt by what those other girls did to her, but she is very excited that she gets to hang out with us. I was thinking all day about that, and how glad I am that God opened my eyes to that stuff. So overall today was a pretty alright day, except for the fact that my phone line died again, so I'm really not sure when that will be permanently up and running, it seems to kinda come and go as it pleases. I can hardly believe that it's October already. Before you know it, it'll be time to go for practicum then, *gulp*, VTNE time. Yikes..... oh well, I know that God will get me through it..... So tonight was pretty good, I watched a movie with the girls and Mark, then I shut myself in my room, played my guitar and cried. Tears of complete frustration with myself, but the were really refreshing. Sometimes I think God takes us to the point of tears because they are so cleansing. I felt so much better after that. Although I am very very tired right now, so maybe I will have to make this a short entry and get to bed. I think I'll probably write more tomorrow. Night all

Stop slamming the freakin door, and other annoyances

2005-09-29T22:20:00.000-06:00

Have you ever met someone who bothers you so much you just want to pick them up and shake them, then slam them into a wall and run away? Ok so maybe thats a little harsh, but there is a girl in my class who really really really gets on my nerves, I mean I literally can't stand her, she always talks down to me like I'm stupid and she's got all the answers. Today was no different from any other day and she annoyed me almost even worse than she has other days. Tonight I heard that she will be staying in our hotel room for the SAVT conference. I was absolutley floored, there was no way I wanted her in my room, my birthday is the saturday of the conference, I want it to be fun and I don't want her to ruin it, it wasn't fair, she had already been signed up with someone else, it just wasn't fair that I would have to share with her. Notice how in the above sentence, it says was, thats a very important word in this rant, because then I heard what the other girls that she was supposed to stay with did to her. They went to the teacher, told her that they wouldn't stay with her, and they crossed her off the list, then they told her that she wasn't allowed to stay with them. When I heard that God really opened my eyes, and I mean opened them wide. I had a good look at myself and realized that I was no different from those girls, I was being just as immature and childish as they were. Thats when it really hit me. God called me to be different, I'm not supposed to be angry with her, she's a child of God just as much as I am. She may not be a believer, but God still loves her just the same. He didn't send Jesus to the cross just for me, although he would have if I had been the only person alive, but the truth of that matter is that I'm not the only person in this world (a truly shocking fact I know) and God sent Jesus for everyone, all sinners, not just me, get the picture. I sure did, so thats when it kinda hit me that I need to stop thinking about how horrible it was going to be staying in the same room as her for a whole weekend and start praying about it. Maybe God will take this opportunity for me to share something with her, even if it is just demonstrating the love of Jesus by my additude to her. All week I have been thinking about Pastor Shawn's message from two weeks ago about humbling yourself, and all week I've been thinking about being humble and I think the moment that I finally realized the I'm not the only one in the world was the moment that I truly became humble. I started to look at my life and realize how selfish I really have been. And this brings me to now, I'm sitting here, writing this blog, pouring out my emotions and honestly thinking about other people. I pray that God will help me to have more of a servants additude, and when I start to become totally self absorbed again that he will give me a reality check. I hope that maybe someone will read this blog and it will mean something to them, and it might help them to come to a realization in their life. It's so easy to fall back into old ways, cause thats the comfortable place to be, but you can't grow if you don't step outside of your comfort zone. I don't know about you, but I don't want to stay in this short shallow pool of existance that I have been living in. I want to step out, and grow in my faith to be more like Christ. Wow, what a feeling. Know that you as well are a child of God, the freedom in that statement is truly amazing, he loves you a million times more than you can ever imagine you can be loved. Embrace it, use it, share it with others. Bless ya guys! Oh and Normsy *Hello McFly* lol

Apparently the fish could live on the floor now...

2005-09-28T23:09:00.000-06:00

Tonight was a crazy night. I studied for a bit then went out for supper with a few of the girls, then we came back and ran the dogs, like really ran them, we took the bikes and the dogs and went for a long ride. It was so much fun, then we got back here and Heather and Amanda tried to flood the place while filling the water cooler, it was really quite humerous, then Sia put clam juice in Heathers coffee when she was next door. The look on her face was priceless. Ya I think overall tonight was a good night. Oh, and my phone is working now, except for whatever reason it comes up as Leslie when I call anyone. lol, quite funny actually. I think what I could really use is some sleep, and maybe a little more review before the test tomorrow. I think I am going to do great on the exam though, just because I have been studying and I've been doing so well in my heamtology labs, I think as long as I stay calm that I should be fine. I was listening to music earlier, one song in particular actually, Shackles by Mary Mary, and just everything in that song was speaking to me. When I was all worked up about the whole *boy* issues my focus sure wasn't on God. And now I realize that sometimes I get back into that rut. I don't know if you've ever heard the song before, but if you haven't you need to and if you have you'll know what I'm talking about. You have to give everything to God, no matter how tough life may be, he can handle it, and he will handle it. He won't give you any thing that you can't handle, and everything tht he does give to you is to make you a better person, even if the only way it does that is to knock you off your high horse and humble you to the level you need to be at. One thing that I have discovered in the last three days is that God loves it when you call on him. He doesn't leave you, no matter how much you think that he has. The moments in your life when he feels the furthest away are the point in your life that you have no faith in him. How is he supposed to help you if you refuse to accept it. He's not going to force you to accept his help. So don't pray for soemthing if you don't want it to happen. On the other hand, don't ever underestimate the power of prayer, because God is always listening to you. He loves you sooooo much. Think about it, not many people would send their Sons to be killed so that you can be forgiven. I'll leave you with that thought for the night, I'm going to read over my notes again and get to bed. Have a blessed night guys.

The shortest route to get where you want to go is a straight line, until you run into something solid.

2005-09-26T22:59:00.000-06:00

So I'm back now from the wedding and it was truly great. Angie looked so pretty in her dress, and Leigh looked very handsome. I was so amazed at how relaxed the whole thing was. Most weddings you go to, everyone is so uptight. It was just great to be able to relax and have fun. School has been pretty crazy lately, we had a midterm yesterday and we have exams all weekI knew that this year was going to be tough, but I didn't think that it would start this soon. lol. Things are going pretty good around here. I'm starting to get better, and I am definatly getting back on track with God. Sometimes I would get so angry at the fact that I was going through what I was going through, but then I am reminded time and time again that God is taking me through this for a reason, I may not know now what that reason is, but I do know that this has made me stronger and definatly showed me what I do not want in relationship. I guess I should probably end this here for tonight. I have another exam tomorrow and I'm thinking that getting some extra sleep would probably be a good idea. I'll try and write more tomorrow, but I'm not making any guarentees. Later all

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional!

2005-09-22T19:55:00.000-06:00

That quote has meant so much to me in the past little while. I've been hurting since I got back here, you can ask anyone, I haven't really been myself and I owe it all to a little thing called heartbreak. I thought it would be easier than it was, but it sure wasn't. However I have now come to the realization that I offered a lot to him, and it hurts to have what I gave him discarded with such carelessness but I have also come to the relalization, that he could really care less if I sit around in my room and mope or if I get out there and move on with life. God has really been working on me lately. He has been showing me things about my life that I need to get past. The other night was spent in tears about things from the past that I have been hanging on to. God wants to take those things from me, he doesn't want me to suffer, he wants me to give those things to him and depend on him, but he won't pry them out of my fingers. That is where it becomes optional to suffer. There is always something thats going to hurt, thats part of the fall of man, nothing is going to be perfect, but just because it is painful doesn't mean that we have to sit around and act like we are in pain from it. We need to hand those things over to God and start the healing process. For those of you who know the whole situation, yes I have made progress. I won't do it anymore, I have given my relationships to God. He will help me to develop the ones that need to be developed and he will protect me. No this doesn't mean that I will never get hurt again, it's just I'm not going to get hurt in the same way. I won't let myself get into that situation again, by relying fully on God and letting him guide me in my relationships. I've been playing my guitar alot more lately, worshiping quitly and sitting in Gods awesom presence, even when I take Dash out for a walk, God comes with us, it's been amazing truly. I know that there will be days that I stumble again, but I'm hoping and praying that when I stumble and fall, I can get back up quickly. I have been trying lately to humble myself before God. I know it sounds like an easy thing to do, but every time I humble myself, I find myself putting myself above again, not above God, but above other things. I am not perfect and I know that, but I also know that God is working on me, on my attitude, my heart, all things about me, and I know that he will make me acceptable. It's taken me a while to get to this point but I think that I have finally forgiven myself, which helps me to move on and forgive others. Don't get me wrong there are still alot of things that I need to work on, but with God's help I think that I can crawl out of the pit that I have been living in lately and onto a path that is acceptable to God. I know that he doesn't have plans for me to be miserable, cause I can't very well be a disciple if I am locked in my room. Well I hate to stop well I am on a role, but I have a midterm on Monday, exams all next week and I have to be home for the wedding this weekend. I will talk to ya'll later. I want to thank you for your patience and prayers and hopefully I will hear from all you guys soon. Love you all!

A million dollar lesson

2005-09-18T01:28:00.000-06:00

Hey all, so I watched million dollar baby tonight, a totally great show. All through the movie little things were jumping out at me, and even though it's not a *christian* movie, I learned a valuable lesson from it. 'Anyone can lose one fight', that was one line in the movie that particularly stuck out for me. Not in the literal sense of fighting as in physical or even verbal, but more in the sense of a neverending emotional battle within myself. I guess it took that line to make me realize that I have lost, and it's ok. Now that I have probably throughly confused you, most of you know that I have had trouble with this one particular guy, not that he's doing anything at the moment which is fine with me, but all summer I've been thinking about him and thinking that i was over him, and it only took me seeing him once to realize that I'm not even close. Not that I have a choice in the matter, it just kinda happened that way, we got a little too close too quickly and invested a lot in a relationship that should have never been invested in that relationship. And now here I am, hurting, in tears and totally lost in thought about what could have been different. Listening to that line in the movie made me realize that I have lost that fight, but just because I lost it doesn't mean that I won't have another fight to get involved in, and even if I fail at other attempts, eventually, persistance will pay off and I will win one. I just need to work on forgiving myself first. A very wise person told me tonight "God won't give you more than you can handle. He uses trials to make us stronger, and when we are broken He takes that opportuninty to mold us into something more spectacular than before." And the more I think about it the more I see the truth in those words. I know that I've known all along that God wouldn't let me go through this if I couldn't handle it, but I guess that it took someone pointing it out to me time and time again for me to actually get it stuck in my head. I know with all my heart that God is going to get me through this, and who knows, maybe at the end of it I will meet *Mr. Right* but for now he is just going to have to wait. I need to heal a little before I can move on. And now that I realize that I have lost, I need to get back up and brush myself off, and get back to conditioning so that the next fight that comes up, I am stronger, and don't break as eaisly. Not that being broken is a bad thing, but it does tend to hurt alot. I guess though, if I was never broken I could never be fixed, and that would be no good either.
I never realized how hard this was going to be until I got here this year, but I know that God will take care of me no matter what, even if I slip up again, He will be there holding my hand, helping me to see the light at the other end of the tunnel.
I better get going to bed though, it's late and I have to be up early tomorrow to do clinic chores before church, and I still need to do my devotions tonight. Hopefully all is going well for you guys, and I hope to hear from you all soon. I miss you guys tonnes, have a great night, and I'll try and keep you guys posted with any new developments...... lata all!

Getting shot didn't hurt that bad

2005-09-16T00:01:00.000-06:00

OK before you freak out about the title, it's a shot, not getting shot, but I thought the title was fitting. We got our rabies shots yesterday, well the first in a series of three. The nurses were worried about me having a reaction, but so far I've been alright, at least I'm not foaming at the mouth. lol, not that I would, I would probably croak before that. Ok, but down to serious business....... unfortuantly this can't be long, cause it's going to be an early day tomorrow and it's already getting pretty late and I need to do my devotions tonight, cause *sigh* I missed them last night due to illness. I know I know, thats absolutley no excuse, but I couldn't even keep my eyes open and I was so cold, but I'm pretty sure that I will be ok, well at least I hope so....My clinic cat was so sick today, I was a little worried that I would walk back into the room and it would be dead, but it is slowly recovering now, unfortunatly I'm not sure that it will make it to a home to be loved, it's not the nicest cat in the world, and if it has something serious then we will have to destroy everyone, that would make me so sad..... hopefully we don't have to do that. Anyway onto a more cheerful subject, I've almost made it through another week. Surprisingly it has gone super quick. I took Dash to the club carnival tonight, she was our model for the Stock Dog Club. She was great, really good with the people who came by, but not the best example of a stock dog. She has a tonne of energy, after the club carnival we went and walked her, (in the pouring rain and I wonder why I'm sick) I'm so glad that I have her up here with me this year. When things get tough I find it helpful to take her for a walk and just spend some time with God, away from my housemates and distractions of the campus, not that there is anything wrong with my housemates or the campus, just sometimes I think it's important to take some time off. I've been thinking alot lately about what I'm going to do after I'm done school for good, I could come back and do a three year degree program in Edmonton and get a degree in Animal Health Technology or I could go to Calgary and try my hand at vet med, or I could go out and join the working world, providing I pass my VTNE, which apparently the passing mark went up 10%. Talk about freaking out. I get so worked up about exams, but this year I am going to try to have a completely different attitude about them. I believe that I can get a 90% on all my exams, and I am goign to go into my exams with a can do attitude. I'm starting to believe it when people tell me that attitude is everything!! Now only if I could have that attitude toward everything...... I'm trying though, I really am, but I still understand that this year is going to take a tonne of work, we can't use a calculator for anything this year, and we start into surgeries first thin in October, then before you know it it's March and bam, practicum here I come. I'm a little nervous, although I know that I have nothing to worry about cause the girls back home are great to work with and I know that if I have trouble with anything that they will help me out, hey who knows, maybe they will even help me study for the VTNE. Wow, I shoulg go though, I know this isn't really much of an update, but it's what I have for now, I do have more, but I really need to get going, the faster I get to my devotions the faster I can call it a night. lol, unless God has something else planned for me then I might be up all night. *Yawn* Night all, e-mail somtime so I know what's goign on with you guys, I promise that I will try to e-mail you back, luv ya

Sick as a dog, or in my case a cat

2005-09-13T14:52:00.000-06:00

Ok so you can probably tell from the title that I am not feeling a 100% which totally sucks, cause being sick and looking after sick animals at the same time is truly no fun at all. An it doubly sucks cause we start our series of rabies shots tomorrow, and apparently they don't make you feel to great either. lol, just one thing after another...... I vaccinated the cat this afternoon and he didn't take my eyes out, so I was pretty happy about that, but so far thats been the highlight of my day. That means it can only get better right? I have one more class after this, then I think I'm going to have a long nap before I run my dog. Hopefully small animal diseases won't go long today, usually Robyn is pretty good about letting us out early, expecially on long days, which is pretty much evey day except for friday. lol I better run though, I don't want to be late, andI think I might start a loaf of bread before I go. Catch ya'll later.

Random nonsense and a life lesson, lol

2005-09-11T21:37:00.000-06:00

Ok, so it's not really a life lesson, just something that I totally learned about myself tonight. I suck at fooseball. I went to the Edge with Heather tonight and played fooseball for an hour, and only won two games, it wasn't very good, I knew I sucked but I didn't think that I sucked that bad. lol, oh well it was fun at least. We found out that every sunday is college night, so I think that we will prolly go again sometime, as long as our schedual allows for it. So I'm sitting here with one of my housemates watching Save the Last Dance, and thinking about things that have been going on in my life in the past few days. I have been worried alot about boy stuff, mainly I keep thinking what if every guy I meet hurts me as bad as the last one, I don't want to be scared about never finding *the one* because I know in my heart that God will take care of it, but everytime I get mixed up with someone and get hurt then I build up walls and I get scared to let people get close, and if I never let anyone get close then how am I going to get to know anyone, and that starts a whole new way of thinking... grrr.. sometimes it's so frusterating being a girl... lol, not that I know what it's like to be a guy, which is probably a good thing cause I would probably just complain about that too. I'm sorry guys, I'm in a complainy mood lately, I don't know if it is because I'm stressed about a certain boy, or if it's just cause I'm not into full classes yet and I know that I'm going to go insane when I am. Oh well. I took Dash for a super long walk today, we went around town and then ran for a while. It was fun, at least for a little bit, I would have gone for longer but I think that we were both getting kinda tired. I haven't really been sleeping the greatest, hopefully once things start back to a schedual and I have no time to freak out about the little things maybe I will be able to sleep for a full night, even though I'm not really tired when I wake up in the morning. Church was good today, it felt good to be back. The congregation here is almost electric, you really feel welcome, and I always leave the service energized, kinda like the energy that you get from camp or a youth sermon. I think part of it could be the worship band, or maybe the simple fact that in a church that huge you can still feel at home. I've been to a few services at a church that only had like 30 members in the congregation and not one of them said hello when I walked in the door, when that happens it's kinda frusterating. I mean I know that I'm not the best at saying hi to people when they come to church and thats something I have to get better at, but God is really working with me on that one. Each time I step out of my comfort zone, God blesses me and even though he has brought me so far, I still find it difficult to step out of that zone. I hope that one day I will jsut be able to step out in faith and be a witness to those around me. I pray that God would help me to step out and meet tonnes of new people and develop new relationships. I also pray that he would help me to be a witness through my actions and my life. I want to be a witness to others. I really do, but I can't really witness to people if I'm scared of them. I suppose I should go, I get a clinic cat tomorrow so I suppose it would be a good thing to kinda be focused to be able to handle it. Cats don't seem to like me much, especially when I am trying to vaccinate them. lol, I will try to update you guys again soon, but if I don't I'll be home in two weeks for the wedding. Love y'all

If teardrops were kisses.....

2005-09-10T22:56:00.000-06:00

Ok so thats a stupid title for an entry, but I shed a few tears today and really wish that they were kisses, not cause I want to be kissed but in my way of thinking kisses should technically hurt less then the tears shed today did. lol, sorry guys, I'm having a bit of a rough day, but things appear to be looking up from here. When I woke up this morning, I had a killer headache, I didn't want to talk to anyone or do anything, so I took a couple tylenol and went back to bed, when I finally got up I was in slightly a better mood, but I was still having a rough day. I've been worried alot about things from back home and boys (well one boy in particular) around here. I'm not worried as much as confused even though I wish I wasn't I have to take some time to figure things out. I think most of everyone who will be commenting on this will know the situation and for those of you who don't, I'm afraid that you don't know me well enough to know the whole story. I am trying to accept the fact that I'm hurting about it, but I'm also trying to get over the hurt, which isn't actually as easy as it should be, or at least as easy as I think it should be. Ok I believe that I have now succeeded to confuse myself. lol, easy enough to do..... any whoo, I have a great bunch of roomies who have helped me to feel better today. We were watching movies tonight and wating junk food, always a bonus to make you feel better, lol, at least for the time being. Things are looking up though.. Dash is getting along quite well in her kennel which is good, I was worried that she wouldn't adjust back to kennel life after she got so spoiled this summer. The animals are coming on Monday, and I have a cat for this week, then another week and I'll be home for the wedding. Thats exciting. I'm really kinda pumped to be back right now. I want to get started and get finished so that I can get done. lol.... anxious much, just a little. I think that I'll be more excited once I get my phone hooked up, which aparently won't be a while cause they are having problems with the land line here, they are trying to accomadate me though, by trying to set me up with a cell phone that will cost me the same as a land line. I really hope that it works out that way and that I can be up and talking soon. lol, that sounds kinda funny, I'm really glad that we got the intenet working in our house now. It's been great to be able to update this and get in contact with a few people. I should prolly go though and update this another day, I haven't eaten supper yet and I'm getting kinda hungry. lol, I'll chat at ya'll later, e-mail me and update me on what you guys have been up to. Love ya!!

upside out and backwards update lol

2005-09-10T00:28:00.000-06:00

hey all, just a little note to let you know that I now have internet in my room at the house. no phone as of yet, they are still working on that one and hopefully it will be up and running soon. I miss all you guys from back home. I mean it's great to be back here and getting back into the swing of things, but I want to be home with all you guys, in my comfort zone where I would curl up in bed and hide if I wanted to. You may be a little confused at this, but the problem is lately I have been feeling pretty stressed, not unbarably, although if I'm stressed now I can't imagine what exam time will bring. I would love nothing more then to curl up in my bed and sleep until the stress goes away, but I suppose in order to do that I have to first pin point exactly what the stress in my life is. I have a pretty good idea of what it might be but absolutly no idea of how to fix it. I know that if I gave it totally to God that He would help me with it but for whatever reason, my stubborness is coming out and I can't seem to let go. Pray for me please. I am praying also, but I'm having a hard time doing so. I just get so sad sometimes, and other times I'm happy and excited. I'm just a roller coaster of emotion at the moment, which pretty much sucks but hopefully it will get better. I think it's just the stress of a new environment, new classes, and a wicked hard schedual, it's not that there are that many classes in it, it's the amount of extra time we have to spend after hours this year. Oh well I'll get used to it after a while I suppose. I picked up Dash today. I missed her so much, I never realized it until I got her back here. It's been great training her and I know that she has not yet reached her full potential, I just hope that after a summer of being completely spoiled that she can get back into the grind of working. lol, I know that sounds kinda silly for a dog, but it's the truth. I'm excited to have her back though. I suppose maybe I should go and try to get some sleep though. That may help, and now that I have net in my room, I will probably be updating this a little more frequently, although my entries may not always make sense. lol, oh well. night all!

Somewhat settled

2005-09-07T18:29:00.000-06:00

Ok, so I'm moved in, no phone no net as of yet, but we are working on it. I'm in the computer lab right now so I'm not sure how long I can make this, I really don't like these keyboards. lol, suppose I shouldn't really complain, at least there is internet here. I'm moved into my house and I have unpacked and kinda organized my room, but my schedual is still completely nuts. We had class today and found out that on Monday's and Thursdays we have 7 hours of lecture, not fun at all. The rest of the time we have lab, that will be ok I suppose, I'm a little nervous about the amount of hours that we will be logging in the clinic but I guess I better get used to it if I am going to be doing it for the rest of my life. There is so much that I could update you guys on, but I think that I need to take a little time to figure it out for myself, don't worry though, I am praying about it, and hopefully God will show me soon what I am supposed to be doing. For now I will keep praying. I'm gonna run cause I really hate this keyboard, but I will put another update on soon. Talk to ya'll later.

Finally ready to go...

2005-09-03T22:26:00.000-06:00

So I finally finished packing today and loaded it all in my vehicle so that I didn't have the urge to emptybut my boxes yet again. It's not that I don't want to go, I just don't like the transition, if I could just put all my stuff in my rav the morning I was leaving and unpack it all and have it set up a couple hours later I'd be set, but I'm not so much for the waiting in between. It hasn't been too bad though. Amanda came out a couple days early so that we can travel up somewhat together and arrive at the same time, I think that's awesome cause then we can help each other unpack, it always goes quicker when you have someone to keep you company. Saying goodbye to people has been difficult, but not too bad, cause I'll be back in a couple of weeks to pick up my dog. Until then she has to stay here with Mom and Dad. They have become quite attached to her though, so I'm sure it's not a problem. This is going to be a great year, well I think it will be anyways, maybe if I go into it with a positive attitude then it will go great. I was a little worried about the classes being harder, but after working practice all summer I think that I will be able to do fine. I may have to study a little more but I'm totally willing to put that effort in. I also have to remeber to spend my daily time with God. I learned from last year that it's so easy to walk away from Him when things are going good, cause really when everything is going your way you don't want anything else, but I also learned that it's those times when you walk away that God hits you the hardest and shows you just how much you need Him. I started a new devotion book yesterday, it's called Pathway to Purpose for Women. I haven't really got past the introduction yet, but it really jumped out at me at the store, so I think that it will be good to get started with. I'm not going to be able to write on this for a couple days... we wont' have internet hookup and I don't think that I'll have much time to get to the computer lab until after things have settled down and classes have started. I would love to write tonnes tonight, but I have a feeling that it is going to be a very long day tomorrow. I want to thank you guys for all your prayers, I know that I will need them in the months to come, as sometimes I forget the simple things when life starts to get stressful. I've often thought that God must get frusterated with me when I do that, but it seems that everytime I turn back to Him He embraces me with such love that I know that He wants to help me and give me rest. It took me a while to come to the place where I could surrender to Him and let Him help me, and there are still some issues that I struggle with letting go of, but God is really working on me, and I am excited to see what He is going to do in my life this year. Wow, I really shoud go, I mean I know it's still pretty early, but I'm beat and like I said before it's going to be a long day. Catch ya later guys! God Bless

So starts the chaos

2005-09-01T09:07:00.000-06:00

I am sitting here in my Pj's looking at the huge mess around me, realising that I move in four days and I have now sucessfully packed and unpacked at least three times, the last time being an unpacking and now I am feeling very un-prepared. I suppose that I could just pack and leave it well enough alone, but my room looks so empty when I pack it, it makes me sad. I guess you could also say that I have having some hesitant thoughts about going back. Don't get me wrong, I am totally psyched to go back, and see all my friends again, but I am also going back knowing that this year will be harder then the last and that it is infact my last year and I will have to write a huge exam at the end of it all. I hate writing tests. I get to be kind of a stress case when it comes to exams. Even when it comes to spiritual tests, I always feel like I am going to fail, although I know that is not possible because God will be there holding my hand and my heart throughout the whole thing, and if I don't make the proper decision, He will help me to correct what I have made wrong. I have also learned time and time again, that He will not give me anything that I can not handle. With that being said, I should not be to terribly worried about the year that is set before me, cause I know that God will be taking care of me, but part of me is still nervous and aprehensive. I guess the purpose of this blog is to kinda of keep the folks back home up to date on what is going on, so I am hoping that it will serve it's purpose, I will try and blog often, but for now I must go and pack, and this time I will attempt to stay packed. Ciao all!